We all know Markus and Mikey, right? The self proclaimed ladies men who couldn't handle a serious relationship if it depended solely on holding a left breast.

And boy, I have a ton of stuff here from them. Gather round bitches, so I can tell you about the stupidity that is the Grimm twins. In the span of about a week, Mikey started dating Sarah, and then broke up with her to stay with Clementine, who he was also dating at the time (though I will say, it does seem like an improvement.) And you know how the ultimate cause of this SNAFU was?

One of the more incompetent members of the Acolytes I've seen (barring Galen, who makes Markus look he's part of Laurel and Hardy.). Markus decided in his finite wisdom that Polygamy was the answer to all his problems, which brought with it even more drama between Serena and Jasmine and Markus. BECAUSE BOY, NOBODY SAW THAT COMING DID THEY? Oh no, no we all did? Cool. I thought everyone else would have an ounce of common sense. Thanks for proving me right.

But that's not all he couldn't comprehend. He decided to bring along his girlfriend (a slutty problem causer of her own, don't even get me started) and not let Serena know (Who of course CAME FROM THE INSTITUTE) that she could come, until the last moment. Well done you stupid fool.

Understandably, Serena freaked out.

But that's not all. Naturally, (because we all saw this happening with Mikey) Jasmine wanted Markus to herself. Fair enough, I can get behind that. So Serena dropped him like he was hot. Poor Markus. This is why teenagers shouldn't pretend to be adults

Did I mention Jason slapped the twins and Mikey took it like a five year old? Run along to the mum you never had, baby. Maybe your careworker will accept you into her unloving arms.

So, the loneliest gay in the village attempted to ask Fredrick out, likely admiring his physical attributes. But once again, nobody loves Tony in that way. And he was REJECTED. It;s okay Tony, I'm sure the bottom of the bottle holds all the answers your heart desires. Love, happiness....

Nah. But it's the closest thing you're gonna get.

In other news the murderer can't get a date. Hey Minx, here's a good idea. Take Magnus to the cliff and push him off. You can teleport, you'll be fine! It's not like it's the first time you let someone die.

Also, did you know Niamh is a bone tease? Poor Oliver doesn't even know how to keep it in his pants, he's taking the word boner to a whole new level. Maybe, Niamh, you should wear a long skirt. Unless of course you find some deep rooted satisfaction for making angsty boys squirm. #wastehistime2016

Serena took down a bear. I'm not even going to comment on this, she's a psychopath.

The Patrick Corner

Did you know... Patrick still can't keep it in his pants? He banged Piper faaaar before she started with Niamh.

Did you also know... He now has commitment issues? Oh Tarika you poor soul, you declared your love. You never do that with Packie. He's a fecking idiot.

AND THEN HE ROLLED AROUND IN THE GRASS WITH MINX. THE MURDERER! Patrick, watch your back.

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