I think I'm a cuck but my gf doesn't know.

A week or so ago I was a bit premature with my current gf(lived together 10 months) and told her I'm sorry that's never been a problem for me before. She said "well maybe you just can't handle me" then quickly reassured me she was joking. But it was a turn on.

Today I was talking about a situation where a woman's son is editing her nudes and how strange that is.

With no other prompt she joked, "maybe I should start something and you can take pictures of me"

I gave a little push back as she doesn't know about this kink, but I didn't try to seem entirely closed off to the idea. Then we got to talking about how some people get personal and want things like panties sent to them for money and she said "I don't know if I could do that." Which sounds like she's disqualifying that behavior but in turn also admitting she would actually be open to posting her nudes online for $$$.

I've never told anyone about this kink, and I'm not entirely sure it's something I could go through with in real life. However, this whole conversation seems like a babystep in that direction to me.

Recently she made a joke and said you "your little bitch ass" at the end of it, she's never used terms like that or demasculated me until now.

She also got very noticeably flustered when watching Straight Outta Compton and there was a nude BBC on screen.

Then there was a muscular dude from survivor she had a crush on, Jon from one of the newer seasons.

I was talking about how this guy online making physical threats seemed immature and she said "have you seen his profile picture? You and him ARE NOT the same person. Then I checked his profile and it was a black dude who looked roided out like tree trunk arms, biceps bigger than most people's head. Didn't think she was into that, but she sounded turned on, almost like she didn't even realize how it sounded.

Recently I was trying to fuck her from behind laying down sideways and she put her leg up in the air and arched back, clearly wanting to be fucked like that but she is just so thicc and curvy my cock couldn't reach in that position, any averagish guy wouldn't.

Then she was riding me again and I tried to reposition her to get deeper and she said "that's not the problem." Meaning the way she was riding wasn't the issue.

About a week ago when giving me handjobs she sometimes flips her hand and strokes me with just one finger and her thumb. I feel like she HAS to know that makes me feel small in her hand, but she's also probably noticed it makes me cum rly fast.

Just yesterday, I brought up how much a streamer we used to watch has made on nsfw social media and she lifted her shirt to reveal her beautiful natural 38DDD breasts, reminding me how much she could make if I let her.

Should I dip my toes in and see if this is really something she wants to do? Or am I thinking further into her words because of my secret?