F 30 175 lbs 5’1

I have a history or abnormal Pap smears, I do have lupus, and hpv not 16,18 or 45 but other hr strains. 2013 normal iud inserted paragard 2014 abnormal Pap, colpo, cin 1 cryo 2015 normal 2016 normal 2017 normal 2018 normal iud removed had baby nov 2018 2019 feb abnormal Pap high grade findings colpo ecc biopsy and normal results June 2020 abnormal results biopsy and ecc normal results December 2020 abnormal results biopsy and ecc normal results

June 2021 pending results from Pap

I always feel scared and stressed cervical cancer is going to just appear even though I do my part by getting checked every 6 months or so and biopsy it’s just stressful I can’t enjoy sex with my husband and be the best version of me I’m always fearing cancer it’s not fair I just want to be healthy. Anyone have any advice for me? I take my meds to control my lupus I also take ahcc and papillex I hope I’m on my way to a healthy clear normal Pap this sucks. Why does cancer just appear? Why does cin 3 emerge from normal paps how does this work? Is it just microscopic that was missed in a biopsy? I’m not diagnosed with anything I’m just curious and just trying to be educated.