The first message was a picture. It had been of a thick green log, bigger than my dick. The monstrosity laid in water half submerged, accompanied by soiled toilet paper and smaller clumps of fecal matter. It coiled, curving around with the bowl. There was a white streak down the side and an abundance of corns here and there throughout. Someone had eaten well, that much was obvious. What was not so obvious, was who had sent the message to me in the first place. The picture was paired with a text message..

I know something you don't know....

Though strange and sort of ominous, I continued to analyze the picture. Something about that bathroom seemed familiar but I just couldn’t place it. Where had I seen those specific tiles before? And the fluorescent lighting? There was a pink rug on the ground in front of the toilet as well. I know I had seen that before. Where I saw it, was the question.

Admittedly, it was hard to concentrate. I couldn't take my eyes off of what had been deposited in that toilet for too long. If I didn't know what human shit looked like, I’d say it came from some beast’s backside rather than one of us. I could only imagine the type of person it could come from. My first thought was a three hundred plus pound man. I couldn’t imagine any normal size person would be able to eat enough to create it and harbor it inside of them, let alone dilate their asshole to the massive proportions necessary to let it out. Not only that but whoever it was, was bold enough to send a picture!

Eventually I stopped staring long enough to message back. Clearly whoever sent this was trying to be funny but sent it to the wrong number. Why would I get something like this out of the blue? Staring at the biggest turd I ever seen for even 5 minutes wasn’t quite how I saw my Tuesday afternoon going, but I had been in awe. Finally I messaged back.

Whoever this is, I think you have the wrong number. That’s actually kind of impressive if its real tho

About five minutes went by before I got a reply. I figured whoever sent it was mortified. Imagine taking a massive dumper and sending a picture of it to the wrong person! Hell, to anybody for that matter! When my text tone chimed, vibrating my phone against my leg, I expected a remorseful apology. What I got was something different.

No, Jonah. I didn’t. And yes, it is real. Thank you

That’s when the second picture came in. A picture of the same bathroom, with the same familiar tile and pink rug in front of the toilet. Inside of said toilet was another log. This one brown, floating in a yellow mixture of water and piss. This one must’ve been longer than the first though not quite as wide. It had broken up into a couple of smaller pieces but you could tell that at one point it was a solid turd that had split as it snaked out of an anus. Another message came in after it.

And I STILL know something you don't Jonah. Don’t you wanna know what it is?

At first I was taken aback by the casual use of my name. This was someone that knew me. Someone with a fucked up sense of humor. I racked my brain trying to think who was this much of an asshole. Still, I had a hard time believing it was any of my friends. That pink rug just isn’t their style. Finally after some time I came to the conclusion that the best way to find out what was going on was to play along. Whoever sent this was crazy, but that familiar feeling I kept getting from the background drove me forward. Curiosity kills the cat I guess. I reply.

Alright, I’ll bite. What do you know that I don't? And what does it have to do with these massive turds you keep sending me?

A moment goes by before I get another text.

I know, maybe even better than you do, that you love my ass

The message is followed up by a picture of a familiar womans ass. Perfect, naked ebony skin covering two beautiful globes. A plump ass, soft and high, rising from a pair of thick thighs. It was obviously a woman. A woman with one of the best asses I had ever seen. I couldn't see her face but there in the back was the same rug and toilet from the other two pictures.

The blood rushed to my cock as soon as I saw it. It couldn't be helped. I’ve always had an ass fetish. I have always loved everything about the female butt. From the look to the smell to the taste, ass has always been a weakness of mine. This may have been the nicest ass I’ve ever come across, internet or otherwise. And something about it seemed so familiar. The next text message broke my gaze with the picture and snapped me back to reality.

I know you Jonah, and I know what you like. I know what I have and I know you want it. I know you’ll do anything to get it. Don’t message me anymore. Call me. Now

All I could do was stare blankly at the words. What the hell was happening? I was playing my xbox one minute and the next I’m being told to call some beautiful woman with an ass unlike I’ve ever seen before. I was almost enough to make me forget about the giant turds she must’ve cut with that thing.

NOW!!

Another message had come through, she was losing her patience. Until I had saw her ass, I didn’t care if she was upset, but after seeing that thing she deserves anything she wants. That ass was perfection. I dialed the number.

After a few rings and what felt like an eternity she finally answers.

“I knew you’d call.” the voice on the end was sultry, slightly husky, and definite turn on. “Even after seeing what this ass can do, you just had to find out who the ass of your dreams belongs to huh?”

“Who is this?” I stammered

“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out.” she replies. She gets a good laugh out of that for whatever reason before continuing, “I know a lot of things that you didn’t know I know. I also know a lot of things you’ll eventually find out.”

“For example?”

She laughs and I hear rustling over the phone line. Suddenly…. PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTFFFFTT!

The unmistakable sound of a wet, bassy fart echoes over the phone speakers into ears and

instantly my cock starts throbbing. I can’t think straight, all I can think about is that ass being near the phone.

More rustling and then she continues, “ I know that your cock is rock hard right now, throbbing from just the sounds my ass produces. I know that in the back of your mind you’re kind of wondering what it smells like. Does the methane my ass spits out smell as beautiful as my ass looks?”

My silence told her all she needed to know.

“The answer is yes, yes it does. Or at least that's what I’ve been told. I can’t stand the smell of my own brand. I wanna let you decide.” She’s obviously proud of herself

“And how am I gonna do that over the phone?” I figured I’d call her bluff. If there was a point to all of this she was sure taking her time.

“Funny you should say that.” then there was a knock on my apartment door. I froze for a moment, thinking this can't be real life. Who the hell was this lady and why can’t I shake the feeling that I know her. This couldn’t have been her at my door. I was convinced that this was going to be one of those horror movie moments where you go check the scary area and it turns out to be nothing. I just knew that it had to be. I knew...until I opened the door and there she was. Reina.

She looked at me and hung up her phone. She had on a pair of tie dye leggings that accented her frame perfectly, a black t shirt that could barely contain her breasts, and a smile that (if I remembered correctly) meant pure evil. It was the first time I had ever seen her smile at me. That was usually reserved for her various sexual conquests back in the time I knew her. I did, in fact, know her and memories of her restroom flooded back to me. The last time I had been in her house was a couple of years ago. I was there to see her daughter, my ex.

I stared at her in silence. Completely taken aback. What the hell was going on? Why would a 40 year old woman be at her daughter's ex boyfriend’s door? Why was she sending me pictures of her shit and the smell of her farts. I realized that I should probably ask her those questions instead of asking myself. What I didn’t realize was that, apparently, people started going crazy at 40, I thought that was reserved for the later, sadder elderly years. Psychosis was the only logical excuse for what she was doing.

Still staring, I came to the conclusion that this is far from a crazy old lady standing in front of me, Even though Reina was in her 40s by this point it could certainly be said that she aged well.. In fact, she was always the true definition of a milf. She would wear the tightest clothes possible at all times, it seemed like and that ass of hers was always on display. On more than one occasion, I would close my eyes and picture her as I was fucking her daughter. Even back then that ass drove me crazy.

She pushed past me into the apartment to take a look around. As I went to open my mouth she started talking.

“My daughter had told me you left to make something of yourself. This is it huh?” she giggled, clearly not impressed with the studio apartment I called home. She sniffed the air, inhaling the smell of pure thc. “Still a fucking pothead, I see. I guess the more things change.” She flopped down in the loveseat across from my tv.

“What do you want?” I finally mustered up the courage to speak. I walked over towards the middle of the room and turned the xbox off. I pull up a spare seat that I have and set it up some distance from her. I didn’t want to get too close.”

She looked me in the eyes for a moment or two, smiled her evil smile again before lifting her right leg up a bit, ripping ass before deciding to say anything.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

My body clenches at the sound but I hope she doesn’t notice. I lean forward, resting my arms on my thighs, so that I could hide the throbbing boner that’s clearly happier to see her than the rest of me is.

“Ahhh, that's better. I was waiting until I got here to let that one go. Better out than in, right?” she chuckles a bit. I don't. I just wait for her to explain herself. “Don’t act like that. Out of all my daughters boyfriends, you were the fun one.”

“Is that why you’re here? For your daughter? I’m going to ask you again. What do you want? Answer me or I’ll be asking you to leave next.”

“I honestly don’t want anything. I’m here to tell you what I know and to give you what you want. What you’ve always wanted.” I hated how much she was enjoying this. She was toying with me, speaking in circles.

“Anything you know your bitch of a daughter probably told you. You’ve known her longer than I did, you should already know that she’s a liar.”

“Is that so? Well lets see…” she gets up, turns around and continues to talk, “She told me not too long ago about you.” I sat in silence as she sensually pulled her leggings down to her knees, freeing her ass which could only be described as magnificent. No panties, just bare ass. I had only ever seen it in jeans and leggings until she sent that picture not too long ago. In real life it was even more amazing. “She told me that you have a thing for fat asses. A fetish if you will. She said it might even go beyond that,” she wiggled her ass and it took everything for me not too bolt form my chair and stick my face in between her mounds, “But honestly, I knew that a long time ago. The way you stared at my ass, even in front of my clueless daughter. I knew, no, I know that you want this ass. Even though it can be dangerous.” she pulled her asscheeks apart to reveal her puckering anus. It pulsated a moment before -pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft- a small toot was let out.

The first fart didn't have much of a smell to it, it was all bark and no bite. This smaller one though had fangs and a napoleon complex to match its size. The smell wafted over my way almost immediately, like she fired it full force from her asshole directly to my nostrils. It was an eggy assault that made all of the surrounding air thick and heavy with her fumes.

She looks over her shoulder at me and smiles. She shakes her ass a bit before kneeling and my couch and poking her ass out. “So does it smell as good as it looks.”

She was waiting for me to make a move but I had no idea what the right one was. On one hand this was the best ass I had ever seen in all my 22 years of life. On the other, this was my ex’s mom. And she was batshit crazy! She had taken pictures of massive turds and sent them to me. She’s ripping ass over and over in my apartment, and still thinks she can seduce me?! I had to put her in her place.

“That’s fucking disgusting,” it wasn’t a lie, the smell was fucking disgusting, but her ass most definitely wasn’t. She swayed back and forth as I stood

“Your dick says otherwise. It’s telling me all I need to know. I think it’s telling you too. You just aren’t listening.” PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. Another bomb explodes from her ass and my cock spasms, “See! It knows what you want even if you won’t admit it. But only I know what you’ll do to get what you want.”

She continued to sway her 46 inch ass back and forth in front of me. I don’t know if she was trying to hypnotize me or what but all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment so I could jack my dick and get this whole experience out of my mind. If that was even possible. I approached her to try to get her from bending over the back of my couch and having her ass in the air. As I reached out she grabbed my hand, yanked, and pulled me to my knees behind her.

My face was within inches of the ass of my dreams. The smell this close should have been unbearable, but it seemed to smell better the closer I got. More natural than eggy, almost like shit. Her pussy was soaking wet. She had wanted this too apparently, though I couldn’t help but think she wanted it for different reasons than I did. I opened my mouth to protest right as her asshole opened and attempted to blow me away.

PPPPFffffffft, BRRRRRP, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRAAAAP!!

Three noxious farts hit me in the face, the first echoing through my open my mouth before I was able to close it and use my other hand to try to block her.

“ Move your hand! As a matter of fact, fucking give it to me!” Her tone had changed from sweet and sultry to something decidedly more stern. This was the Reina that I knew. The one I remembered. Always in a bad mood even though she looked like a million bucks. I had figured maybe the years had mellowed her. I was dismayed to find out I was wrong. She reached her other hand back and grabbed my other arm. My wrists were in her clutches as I found myself kneeling beneath her perfect ass. The view was superb, the smell not so much. I tried to pull back only to be met with the PFFFFFFTTTT sound of her ass unleashing her unholy methane.

She pulled me forward, burying my face deep into her asscheeks. I was trapped as she ground her ass back and forth on my face. My nose was pressed against her anus and I could feel her releasing puffs of gas down my nasal cavity. She was laughing like an evil genius the whole time and I couldn't help but wonder how long she had been planning to do this to me. I struggled to pull away but her grip on my arms kept me locked in place.

“Oh stop lying to yourself!” I could hear her even though my face was deep in her crevice, “I bet that dick is harder than it’s ever been. You used to do this with my daughter all the time right? She told me this drives you crazy. The smell of ass, the feeling of being enveloped by soft flesh, and the intimacy of it all. This is what you love.” It seemed like she was grinding harder now, unloading toot after toot into my nose.

It may seem like a strange time to reflect on things, but she was right. I was a full nine inches down there even as she farted over and over into me. She had known that ass was my weakness, and that with an ass like hers she could do whatever she wanted and I would still want it. My fight lessened and so did her grip on my hands. Eventually she let go as I zealously grabbed an asscheek in each hand and played with them. I still had my face in her crack only now I voraciously motorboated her ass. It was the best ass ever. Not too firm, not too soft. The smell was a drawback but nothings perfect. I just knew I had to. I knew I wanted to. Finally giving into temptation I did what I had always wanted to do since the day I had met Reina. I stuck my tongue in her ass.

She pulled her ass away from me when she felt my tongue against her anus, “Nope! Not yet!” she turned around and sat on the couch regular. On my knees I was eye level with her. She leaned in, and then pulled away. “Damn, you stink! You smell like ass. My ass.” she laughed hysterically before continuing. “ I knew it. I told you I knew it too! Now you know one more thing that I know, but not the most important thing.”

I was in a daze staring at her, all I wanted was to shove my tongue into her ass go to town. She knew that's what I wanted. Her daughter must’ve told her everything about me including the fact that I love nothing more than tonguing a perfect ass. I had to do whatever to get back to it.

“My daughter told me that you’d want a taste, that you need a taste. You used to eat her ass all the time from what I was told. She would lay on her bed for hours, while you lapped away at her asshole like the loser that you are. She said you could and would go hours at a time, beating that dick of yours to climax several times before you were done digging. Only...she said you would only do it fresh out of the shower…. I guess she doesn’t have an ass like mine. My ass makes men do crazy things they'd never dream of for some quality time with it.” She pinched my cheek, “Isn’t that right?” I nodded in a lust driven stupor.

“Can I please lick your ass Reina?” I muttered, defeated.

“That’s Ms. Brown to you. Oh and you’re going to do more than that. You’re going to shove your tongue deeper in my ass than you’ve ever did my daughters’... But only after I tell you one last thing. Only after I tell you the most important thing I know.” Reina -er- Ms. Brown turned around and bent over my couch again. She poked out her ass and I went to dive in. “Ahhh!” she chided, I stopped and pulled back awaiting her go ahead. Waiting for her to let me make a fantasy I had had ever since I saw her all those years ago come true.”I didn’t say go ahead did I?”

“No Ms. Brown”

“No, no I didn’t, and I’m not going to until I tell you what I know.” Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. She farted in my face again. “Ooooh that stinks. Sniff that right on up for me.” At her command my nostrils went to work. There was a pure shit smell to this one but I knew I had to do whatever to make this happen “Now I could be wrong with this, but I've got a strong feeling I’m not. Do you wanna know, what the most important thing I know is?”

All I could do was nod.

She smiled over her shoulder and spoke deliberately. “ I know you want my ass. I know that you so desperately want to feel my asshole squeezing that tongue of yours. I know that you want me to tighten and loosen my grip around that tongue as you wriggle it around my anus.” She reached back and spread her cheeks to wink at me with her asshole. I looked from her asshole to her eyes. She winked at me with those too. “I know that to get yourself tongue deep into my ass, that you would do anything right now. Most men would. I can’t blame you.” PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. She ripped another in my face. This time I felt the full force because her ass cheeks were spread. “I know that you're going to reach out and split my cheeks. I know that you’re going to massage them. Go on, reach and massage them.” I did as she said. I reached out and held her globes apart, massaging one in each hand. “Now listen to me very closely, because this is the most important part.” She was speaking slowly and very deliberate. “You’re going to spear my asshole with your tongue. I’m going to let you rim until I decide otherwise. All the while I’m going to fart over your tongue and into your mouth.” I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but what I really couldn't believe was that I was going to do it. “Finally, after I decide you’re done, you’re going to pull your tongue back, continue to sensually rub my ass, align your mouth with my asshole and let me force a huge turd down your miserable throat! I can feel it now. If you thought the pictures I sent were bad, just you wait.” PPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFT “Smells like you're not going to be waiting long.”

She was laughing hysterically as I kneeled behind her in disbelief. I was frozen, though I wasn’t sure if that was shock, fear, excitement or some sort of ungodly mixture of the three. My mind floated back to the pictures on the phone. The huge turds that must’ve came out of this very ass. How could things like those come out of something so beautiful? Would she seriously try to push one those down my throat? Would it be worth it? The ass in front me made me think yes but my better judgement said no. As I went to protest-

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

She released a ten second long bomb. The only sound in the room was the sound of her ass bellowing. I lost my train of thought. Or at least my brain did. My dick still had thoughs though and it drove me to dive into her ass, resigning to my fate and prepared to accept not only the gift of her ass, but its curse as well.

My apartment smelled like her ass. The constant barrage of methane exploding from her brown ring and into the air made sure of that . My mouth tasted of her anal cavity, I had made sure of that much. My tongue darted this way and that the moment I was inside. Her sphincter tightened around it as soon as I did, as if to lay claim to my tongue. She gyrated her ass against my face while I was inside, making sure every inch of her anus was well acquainted with my tongue.

After about five minute I felt her asshole loosen to drop a bassy fart over my tongue and into my mouth. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP! Five seconds worth of methane traveled straight to my lungs. After she flexed her sphincter on my tongue. I could hear her moan every time her asshole tightened around my tongue. She was enjoying this just as much as me. She ground her ass back into my face and PPPPPPPPPPFTTTTT! Another fart down my throat. This went on for another fifteen minutes, and eventually she grabbed one of her own asscheeks and held it open so I could pull out my dick and play with it. I beat it furiously as I probed her ass.

“Deeper!” I heard her yell. She held her ass open with one of her hands and began masturbating with the other. She played with her clit as I forced my face deeper into her crevice. I stretched out my tongue as far as I could and before long she was using it to fuck her ass. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!”she repeated it over and over. The lust in her voice was obvious, as was the malice. She was using me and I knew it. I didn't care, this was everything I dreamed of and more.

That is, until I felt it. Shoving my tongue as far up her ass as I could I suddenly felt the tip of something rock solid. It was pushing against my tongue, trying to force its out. I went to retract my tongue when I heard her scream, “If you pull that tongue I swear to god I will pull your dick off! Lick my asshole until I fucking tell you stop!” I did what she said, this time out of more fear than lust. The turd felt huge and was far stronger than my tongue. I accompanied it to the rear exit with my tongue, eventually lapping at her asshole like a kid would a lollipop. I pulled back for a moment just to watch her asshole expand. It had to open up at least three inches to let this monster out. The turd poked its green turtle head out of her ass and I immediately could see corn similar to the other turds from the pictures.

She looked over her shoulder at me, clearly enjoying humiliating me. “The corn is to give it a little more texture. Plus I know you used to love my corn when I cooked it for you and my daughter. Now get your mouth over my asshole and relax your throat. I’m about to completely unload inside of you.” I paused, looked her in the eyes for a moment before hesitantly wrapping my mouth around the log already protruding from her asshole. Finally my lips made contact with her skin. The bitter shit streaked against my tongue as I connected my mouth to her ass.

“Good boy.” she patted my head before returning to her maturbation duties. She grunted as the monstrosity filled my mouth. The stiff log traveled straight from her anus to the back of my throat without breaking off. I moved my jaw to bite down but was met with a harsh slap to the top of my head. That was clearly a no-no. I gagged as it curved down my esophagus and made a beeline for my gullet. It just kept coming. Until she was done her shit would be my world. All I can see, smell, and taste. The many undigested corns scratched against my tongue and throat as the log traveled from her.

“OOOOOHH! I don't think I’ve ever shit this much before. Aren't you the lucky one?” she swatted my head again until I groaned the affirmative.”It’s all one big log too. Try breathing through your nose because you can't chew until this breaks off. I wanna see how long I can make this one.UUGGHHHH!” With her grunt came a push and the log started coming even faster. It was still solid but it wasn’t as dense now. It traveled from her ass as if she was some sort of shit pump. I could feel my stomach expanding as began to fill up.

I felt myself fading, choking from the turd that filled my throat and snaked its way into my stomach. The room would go dark for a moment and then suddenly light back up. Every time I almost passed out she’d push her shit harder to jostle me back awake.

PPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. Her ass let out a gas bubble into me along with her shit. PPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFT! PFFFFT PFFFT Pfffff. Her ass was sputtering, spitting out what I hoped was the last of her fecal flow.

“Okay I’m done, lick me clean.” she commanded. I struggled to finish chewing her deposit and swallow it down. I felt like I was going to throw up, but I didn’t. That would only piss her off. I dove back in, tonguing her ass until it was as spotless as when it first came in. I suppose the shit wasn't so bad, as long as I could shove my tongue in her ass.

When I was finished she stood, pulled up her leggings and turned around. I was still on my knees, I looked up at her. She looked down at me. I saw the vile smile form on her stern face once more. “I knew it. I knew that I could get you to eat my shit. How did it taste? No, don’t fucking answer that, because I know that too. It tasted like shit didn’t it?” she laughed.”You’re fucking pathetic, but honestly the best toilet I’ve used in quite some time. I knew it when my daughter brought you home that you’d be under me one day. I’m glad that day finally came, it didn't disappoint.” She adjusted herself, picked up her cell phone from the arm of the couch and her purse from the counter she had left it at. I watched her gather her things and get ready to head to the door.

“Wait…” I said, though I had no idea why. This woman had just barged into my house, coerced me into licking her ass and then took a steaming shit down my throat.

She stopped at the door when she heard me. She looked back and smiled. I must’ve looked ridiculous knelt in front of her, face stained brown and dick still rock hard. “I’ll tell you one more important thing I know before I leave, how does that sound?” she said in her sweet tone again.

I nodded,

“Well I know that as soon as I leave you’re going to jerk your dick harder than you ever have before. You’re probably going to blow your load clear across this room. I know that sooner than you think, you’re going to have another serving of my shit. I know that I’m going to feed you right from my ass. But most importantly, I know that you’re going to BEG me to do it. Bye now.” With that she walked out the door.

I knelt alone in silence for a moment before grabbing my dick and jerking harder than I ever have in my life.

Even if she’s not my mother, I guess a mother always knows.