So, I have talked with others about this and it seems to always set people off within the LGBTQ community. Specifically, with respects to me and my situation. I've written about this on Reddit before and never really had much discussion about it.

Background: before I met my husband, I went through a long process of being more attracted to women than men but I still enjoyed men. In college I became very close with a couple (m/f) who were married. We were great friends with benefits and still friends after all these year, just no benefits due to us living thousands of miles apart. lol. After college I moved and started dating a man but that urge and drive to be with a woman never faded. Eventually after we talked for a few years we decided to bring a friend of ours into the bedroom. It was great. Eventually, my now husband, asked if I would like to try this with bringing a man into our bedroom and eventually for us to go full on swinging. We enjoyed and enjoy all of it. We don't really swing anymore but we are still active with a couple of women and men on occasion. We left swinging because of lots of reasons but one that relates here is that they were too predatory. My husband and I are super aware of ourselves and if we are acting predatory. In fact, outside of our friend that lived with us for a while, we have NEVER had partners from the greater Salem area. We were not in the LGBTQ community to find play partners. Like not even close!

Okay, so that was the background. Fast-forward to today and over the past couple of years I have received a very, very cold shoulder from the local LGBTQ groups in the area. I've received the very strong impression that if I were gay or my husband were bisexual, we'd be welcomed. But as it is, because I am bisexual and he's not, we are just a married couple trying to find a unicorn. A sentiment I understand but can't seem to break through. And one that after more than three years, we couldn't shake.

I was once asked by a woman I was completely not attracted to, "prove I love box" on her. She and her friends thought it was funny but it was also serious and only worked to push me further out. I had many cases similar to this - being asked to prove I was bisexual, being asked questions why I was bisexual, why I wasn't fully gay or fully straight, or if it was only physical or was it mental, and LOTS of STATEMENTS on how I was bisexual only for my husband! Those really started to anger me. I was asked to partake in an all-female orgy one night and because I said, "I only play with my husband", I was chided and outcast further.

We brought our friend with us to a party at the Speakeasy one night - a friend that for a while we considered to become polyamorous with - and when she said that she was bisexual and that she was "with us" the community here pushed her out as well. Who were the predators that night? What happened to just having fun and dancing our asses off?

We eventually stopped going to Speakeasy and parties because it started to just feel like we were being outcasted at every turn. My husband was always being hit on and having to explain that non monogamy doesn't mean he was gay or bisexual. My husband lost count of the times he was told he's a "top" or he "just needs to suck a dick" or "have is dick sucked by a man" or "needs a good pegging" and really abusive statements like that. Our support of the community became a target. So we stopped going and removed ourselves from everything in Salem having to do with the community here.

When I say pushed out and outcast, we were not invited to parties as often, we heard others talking about us behind our backs, and other things that you'd do if you were in middle school. I'm 37 now and never experienced anything like this in some 20 years. We are still active in the Portland community but just not in Salem. We've been in the Portland community for around five years and haven't once had any issues.

Thank you for allowing me to rant here. I have had issues with this for a while now and I just can't seem to shake it. I would love to have a loving and supportive community to be part of here but right now, I can't let go of the hurt. I hope that someone within this community can help explain why the locals in Salem are this way. Was there history to this? Maybe why you personally see me as a threat or someone you don't want to be around?