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So. Amanda was a bitch.

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I knew this from the beginning. She came to me after I coordinated her aunt's vow renewal and had been a pain in my ass ever since. Demanding, impatient, bratty - Amanda was all things.

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She went through caterers and florists like no bride I had ever seen. Frankly, the only good thing about the beach venue was that it was a public space and there was no venue owner for her to piss off.

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Normally, I'm not the biggest fan of beach weddings. We have to rent speakers and a generator. The wind wrecks everything it can. Also. brides tend to wear long dresses that gather up sand and leave a gritty, slug-like trail everywhere they go for the rest of the day.

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At this point in the process, I just wanted everything to be over. I had to firmly, firmly explain why we couldn't set up an altar, arch or anything else on the jetty. No, the place we rented chairs from will not allow their property to be in the surf. Also no, chaining the chairs down wont help.

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By the day of the event, I was just glad to keep the guests on dry land . Despite my advice against it, Amanda had a full picnic spread on the beach in front of the jetty. She found another caterer on her own after I said I was out of ideas. Actually I could not ,in good conscience, send my contacts her way and my business is way more important than her clusterfuck of a wedding day. Honestly, I felt bad for whatever dope she had entangled.

The tables were set, the food was laid out. There were no guests in sight. I had witnessed so much of her bad attitude that I was sure her invite list had stood her up. The bride and groom were also nowhere to be found. Amanda's last text said she would arrive precisely at sundown so she had 20 minutes. The groom.....actually I had never actually seen the guy.

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A tap on my shoulder startled me and it took everything I had not to smack the person with my clipboard . A shifty eyed guy with ripped jeans and converse had appeared.

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"Uhhh...is this the Dawson wedding?"

"yes?"

"Oh cool."

"Who are you?"

"uh.. Amanda's friend."

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Without any other words he took a seat at one of the tables and started digging in. Being that none of Amanda's other friends had showed up I let it slide. But then another guy appeared. This one at least wore a suit.

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"Hi, are you the planner?"

"Yes , are you a guest of the groom or the bride?"

He chuckled. I'm not sure why but it gave me an uneasy feeling.

"I'm honestly not sure. I'm just Amanda's plus one. "

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I gestured him to the bride's table. Amanda was a common enough name.

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However it was not common enough for every guest who arrived to be the date of a different Amanda.

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Much to my confusion, every guest that arrived was male and claiming to be either her friend or her date. The tables were soon filled with a harem of dudes, digging into whatever specialty fish meal that the bride had demanded.

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There are times when you have a ton of questions to ask but you know that the answers won't make anymore sense than the current situation. Really, I wanted to know how she had conned so many people into liking her. My next concern was the potential fight about to break out once they inevitably realized she was a compulsive, lying, cheater.

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However, that didn't seem to be on the horizon. All the men were eating robotically. There was no chatter. No angry shouts. Just the sounds of waves splashing against the shore and small clinks as forks touched plates. I was hella perturbed.

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Suddenly a voice floated across the wind. At the end of the Jetty, a woman had appeared. She was singing loudly- it was a strange melody that either had no words or was in a language I had never heard before. The setting sun illuminated her silhouette and glinted off her hair as it blew in the wind.

Of course Amanda had to have her entrance on the stupid fucking Jetty.

Suddenly, the men stood from the tables. They began running towards Amanda, tripping over each other as they scrambled for the surf.

I yelled for them to stop, even grabbing one man by the arm. He punched me in the gut and shook me off.

Winded, I fell into the sand. No one paused to help. Every man who had arrived and even some I had not seen before was diving into the ocean or climbed across the jetty to reach the bride.

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I sat up, still clutching my stomach. There was blood on the rocks now. People were cutting themselves but nothing broke their focus. The song still echoed through the night, rising and falling in an ancient melody.

Screams started to mingle with the song. Men were drowning. Those on the rocks were limping on ruined limbs. Amanda never moved and the song didn't stop.

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The sea began to glow. The water churned and white froth mixed with the blood of men. A huge form rose from the waves, towering at least 20 feet above the water.

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I pissed myself.

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A glowing, tentacled thing appeared above the surf. It had too many teeth and too many eyes. It plucked men from the water and dropped them into a gaping, beak-like maw. Petrified, I watched as it ate every man in sight. When it was done, every pupil in every eye focused on Amanda. She finally stopped singing and raised her arms as if to embrace the beast.

It's tentacles wrapped....lovingly???.....around her and they both disappeared into the sea.

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Now. This wasn't the first time a person at a wedding awoke the next day in a puddle of their own piss- but it sure as hell was my first time.

Luckily I had driven my own car- I can't imagine what it would have been like trying to get a ride caked in sand and shame.

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My neighbor across the street waved as I shambled up the steps. I ignored her. Sometimes you just cant.

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With blinders on, I headed straight to my shower.

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Pulling back the curtain, I froze.

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There would be no shower for a long while. My tub was filled to the brim with pearls. A post it rested atop the pile.

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Thanks- A

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I stared stupidly at the words, unable to make any two thoughts come together. What broke me from this moment was the wet splat as a hunk of sand fell from my back and exploded across my bathroom floor.

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.................Amanda was a bitch.