So, I posted a thread about a Tzimisce character that I was introducing to a game that's finally been able to restart after the plague, I want to say firstly that Dr. Edith Barren was a success and I have never been more nervous to introduce a character.

Usually, when I make a character they are some flavor of the Pissed Off Chick TM that will react emotionally before reacting logically. My Nosferatu is a punk with a bad attitude, my Changeling is an Ogre with a chip on her shoulder, my Ventrue even wields her power primarily against men because she's been mistreated by them before, so on and so forth. Most of them are a part of me in some aspect, I find it easier to play a character that is based off of some part of my personality, it's easier to channel in a moment.

But Dr. Barren, my Tzimisce, is none of me, absolutely none. I made her as a challenge for me as a player to get into a mindset that is so far from my own, to test my roleplaying skills. Which explains why my adrenaline was so spiked once the character was brought up by the other players and NPCs.

It's strange listening to the fellow characters (including a few of my own) plan on killing the character I made before she's even introduced, based on her clan and projects she has worked on before being not the most morally acceptable things. I planned this, I gave this character direct connection to high drama potential with a lot of different characters, it wasn't unexpected and it was fun but it was definitely a new experience at the table for me.

My storyteller, bless him, worked with what he knows about me, gave me a Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs introduction scene for her with some of the other characters. (part of her inspiration and a favorite book of mine). He also helped me come up with a reason for her not to be offed outright, to be just useful enough that she's going to stick around as long as she stays in her lane. I was even proud of some roleplay moments I had with some NPCs, some lines that made sense to me in the moment and came out sounding pretty good.

I love playing heroes, I love doing good things in games regardless of the game, even my vampires don't really tread the line or morality as much as they probably should. (Luckily my ST enjoys allowing us to be heroes a lot of the time too.) So this character is so far removed from my almost 15 years of experience in RPGs that it is nerve-wracking to play her and it takes my complete and utter focus to do so. Which I'm happy for, the challenge is good for me and will hopefully help me run games in the future.

But man if I didn't get lightheaded, lol.

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I would actually like some tips and ideas on playing morally grey characters, if you guys have any. Things to keep in mind as the game goes on to help me stay within this character that is so far removed from the characters I usually play. She's not evil, she's definitely done some evil things but she does it in the name of survival and to earn opportunities to pursue her own goals. But she will do nearly anything it takes to get those opportunities, that's what sets her apart from my other characters.