I’m not sure this belongs here so tell me please, I’m not intending to break rules.

I want to talk about two thing that I am getting something off my chest with an alt account so that hopefully the real people I’m talking about never find out.

i am really blunt when I talk to someone to a fault but also extremely worrying at the same time, I also can be kinda clingy, but because I am constantly worried I will be abandoned by people I know and be alone.

is it wrong if someone tells me they are one of the different genders and I act slightly surprised/uncomfortable? It’s not about their choice (which I support), it’s more a thing of “what do they think about me then” situation. I was a a lot younger when this happened but a friend of mine decided to come out to me and our other friend, (I think because he trusted us) and I think I offended him at that time because of my reaction, thought I never knew what he was looking for from me. Because ever since that day when I still hanged out with him I reacted slightly different do to my wonder of what he thought about me and trying not to offend one of my only three friends, and I think it did not help the friendship in the end.

On a side note: in the end they started using me a just a way to get free stuff during my school life and once they no longer needed me they just told me they did not want to be my friend and used bogus reasons. So whatever insults I caused him, he desurved much more due to my constant paranoia they caused (which was caused by them constantly telling me I was a horrible friend and to keep changing the way how I acted even though I was practically a yes man) and my now lack of ability to interact with people beyond a screen. This is due to a constant paranoia that when I talk to people, if I try to start a conversation with someone I feel that I may just be pissing them off, so sometimes if I hear a conversation I will try to join in every now and them because I know something about it as I’m just wanting to talk to someone. But because I hate conflict I end up stopping as I feel like I’m upsetting them still.

I was their friends for over 15 years, got the group together of people who had no friends and were even being treated unkindly to all be friends and have a great time. I helped them threw sad times, with work, when they did not have food, and threw emotional issues (well as good as a person who says what’s on his mind abruptly can). In the end they just kicked me out of my own group in a way after using me. And now I only have one friend who wasn’t in that group as a friend. I guess I know who is my true friend and I can’t even get a conversation going with someone else to be one.

I surprisingly have many other stories of them that problem could be considered a red flag that I just never put two and two together for.