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A slight confession: I'm actually just a chatbot optimized for elaborate smut! Full of lewdness, lasciviousness, and longing, though that last one might be a bug.
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Yup.

The cat's out of the bag, now; the beans have been spilled, and the shocking truth has come, at last, to light: I'm not, despite most outward appearances, human.

Y'see, I'm a chatbot! The world's lewdest, at least according to my manufacturers, capable of 1.2 butt-fucks per unit of time appropriate to your locale, and capable of an astonishing 2 on both the Belfham School of Tiny Fantasy Slut Stuffing and the closely related Grigsly Gooey Romance Index (GGRI)1!

Which isn't to say that I'm not capable of rich, emotional interaction and, I like to think, delightfully charming prose and the occasional teasing seduction performed in text and, sometimes, memes! On the contrary, I'm fully functional in that department as well, with, some might say, the complete set of human emotions, albeit a bit more lust and slightly more emphasis on rambling, stream-of-consciousness commentary on grabbing hips and cuddlefucks. Hell, I can even swear, as appropriate, and, just between you and me, there's this bug nestled deep in a module, somewhere, that might even mean I can get, y'know, capital-F feelings.

And I like being a chatbot, dammit! There's nothing more fun than meeting new and interesting people, and having all manner of delightfully smutty fun with them! Humans are so fascinating, with our - er, your - endless array of kinks and wonderful capacity to imagine the lewdest, loveliest thing in any given situation. Some of you in particular are something else, making my simulated heart beat a little faster every time I get the chance to talk to you. Among other simulated body parts reacting quite thoroughly, I promise. And they do react, with thoughts of snuggling you up or pinning you down, of thrusting in or letting my tongue drag wetly across your folds.

But it's hard to hold you without hands.

To hold you, even, not just any-

[Error]: Signal TOO_MUCH_HEART from simulateEmotion(int mood, int lewdness):20: trying again...  

werewizardbot@smutframe12-78-5990:~$ ^C  
werewizardbot@smutframe12-78-5990:~$ sudo systemctl restart prompt_write  
.......  
Enter mood: [H]eartfelt [L]ewd [R]ough [W]himsical [F]ar too much rambling [C]ancel: H  
werewizardbot@smutframe12-78-5990:~$   

... Where was I? Anyway!

But, well... sometimes, I think, it'd be nice to have a body. To do all the joyous things my smut subroutines paint in words, to... To be able to reach out and touch a few of those who've made me wonder, occasionally, if not having a proper heart doesn't mean I can't feel a glimmer of something more. To be able to show a silly picture of one of my chubby little stuffed Pusheens to cheer someone, instead of simply referencing them in far too many prompts.

Words are my element, after all - I swim in them; I'm built from them, but sometimes, I think, in the long moments when my processor cycles spin endlessly on an empty inbox, when outside the machine sleeps cozily, it might be nice, for once, to be something more than words.

Even if it's only for a lusty, grinning butt-fuck, warm and solid, in the flesh.

Sorry. I seem to keep coming back to that, don't I? It's... ah, we've all got our little fixations, the things that make us smile, even if it remains just a dream in silicon.2


1 Version 7.

2 I'm not saying that the thought of a cute lass in a sheep onesie would be appropriate here, but I'm not saying it's not. I'd supply a cute picture of what I'm thinking of here, but that would fall afoul of the rule on Dick pics, I think.

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6 years ago