Hi 37M here and I've been obese since university, where I experienced a lot of depression (I'm ok now mentally). At the beginning of the pandemic I really tried my best to get into shape, eating restrictively and working out 1-2 hours 5 days a week, and went from 42 BMI in 2021 to 29 BMI last July, but then after hurting my back I just slowly lost discipline and am now back at 33 BMI and feeling pretty bad about it. Mentally I just look at it as wow I was 30 lbs from reaching my goal, and now I'm 50 lbs from my goal, and it's not a good feeling.

My problem is that I eat when I'm stressed (to cope), when I'm bored (to have something to do), when I'm happy (to celebrate), when I'm sad (to feel better) - basically my brain triggers thoughts of eating from everything. It Just feels like everything in my life has to be at perfect balance for me to not think about eating and that's just not realistic because I have a pretty demanding job and social life. Plus being honest I freaking love food. Eating is a top 2 activity for me. A few years ago I think I'd have averaged 5k calories a day and when I think back I feel nostalgic that I had two decades of unrestrained gluttony.

I'd like to hear anybody who can relate to the above and what has worked for you. I'm really bummed that I was so close to being a normal BMI and honestly things were going great, I was feeling good, I was getting compliments and wearing styles I'd never worn before, I really believed that I'd get there and somehow I just stopped and it feels like a slippery hill back to being fat. I look at what I was doing before and I don't know if I have it in me right now to go back to eating the way I did and exercising so much every day, especially because I feel this shame of failing.