Happy New Year's Eve to all of you cucks on the Gregorian Calendar (#JulianRiseUp). This is the time of year we take stock of the year gone by and make our own personal listicles to help us contextualize, formalize, and rationalize our own individual weaknesses (yes, plural). Buckle up, it's going to be a sticky ride. As we all know, the real r/Weakpots is in the comments. And the really real r/Weakpots is in the IRC. This post is Discord erasure.

1. u/McManiaC Y'all are sleeping on McManiaC. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here! He's German, so we all know what that means xD He Olympic lifts and not power lifts, so we know he's smart. And! He drives a motorcycle while wearing a leather jacket! He's basically the coolest person on the planet :D

2. u/WeaponizedSleep The only actual dad on the list, but not the only daddy, nomsayin. The shorts are short, the butt is jiggly, and my knees are weak (but that's just my knee AIDS). It gets pretty hot and sweaty lifting in his garage, and that's just me! *rimshot*

3. u/Achy_breaky_joints He recently svunted, but he can never svunt from my heart (or my spank bank). He can achy breaky my joints anytime he wants. Some people have cute dimples when they smile, but he's got cute butt dimples when he posts ass.

4. Weakerbot My beautiful son :') He's perfect and so so stupid.

5. u/robogirl2006 A bionic brethren. A school sister. A professional scritch-giver to Pan and Lyra. She's got the brains, and um like, some of the brawn? She can build a robot that'll kick your ass, at least.

6. u/nombski The shitposts. The abs. The adventures. The abs. Yeah yeah, he was on the list last time, I know. But I mean, do you blame me? I'm still waiting for him to get a pASSport so he can come kayak my waters. Did I mention the abs?

7. u/Pancocks He got a "better job" and a "girlfriend" and a "house" like those things are better than hanging out with us all day doing nothing waiting for our lives to magically and suddenly have meaning and purpose.

8. u/Avocadokadabra He has perfect Greek proportions and a perfectly-shaped head. What else could you want? Oh how about big lawyer brains? Boom, he's got that too (in his perfectly-shaped head). Idk who is cuter: Avocado or his floofy kitty. But why decide?

9. u/MEatRHIT Bench dad? More like bench daddy, amirite? Something something playing with wood. Something something sweet lathe. Something something hand plane. Something something chisel. Wait... I'd marry him just for access to Moose (and health insurance)

10. u/The_Fatalist I had to put DeadliestLift last to knock him down a peg. I thought about not including him at all, but I think it's more cruel to put him last than to not put him at all.

OK that's it. I hope you enjoyed this list. If you wanna get on it, you know what to do. And if you didn't enjoy it send a self-addressed envelope with nudes to my PMs. I hope next year's list has less filler hunks.