I've seen some verrrry classy no-budget weddings. It's all about the genuine feeling... does it feel truly loving and authentic? Were efforts made to make the wedding truly special with whatever meager means the couple had?

One of my favorite weddings I've seen (a slideshow of pictures online) was a Scottish couple getting married by a pagan officiant at a stone circle in the highlands. They brought their wedding party, rings, a bouquet, a picnic for after the reception, and nothing else. Everyone wore such lovely unique clothes for the occasion and looked amazing. They probably spent a relative pittance for that wedding but it looked so lovely and special.

Not to one-up you in the 'expensive weddings are stupid' tirade, but every single wedding I've ever been has progressively turned me off to the point where I started off thinking 'maybe I want something really small and intimate in a beautiful location' to where I am now, where I wish my spouse and I could fill out a marriage form, pay $25, send the form to wherever its supposed to go and be legally married.

I've been with my partner for 12 years and while we could afford a tiny wedding without any debt, I just don't even particularly see the point of it. The idea of being legally married and the idea of a wedding never once excited me, even as a little girl.

When my friends started getting married in my mid 20s I figured I would get around to it eventually. But all those weddings... half the marriages didn't work out so in hindsight its a little embarassing that they spent all that money and declared everlasting love to each other publicly. The half that are still together, the relationship appears to have not been changed in any way by being married. So at worst it's a waste of time and money, at best it's somewhat pointless.

The last year or two I've realized I just have genuinely no desire to 'get around to it'. Any slight interest I ever had was more out of an insecurity about perhaps being perceived as 'unmarrigiable', general social conditioning, and a desire to hit the same milestones as my peers. My partner and I are actually incredibly committed and faithful, far more so than some of the married couples I have known.

Marriage =/= commitment, trust, loyalty, good intentions, security, fidelity, happiness, safety or even love, so why bother? It hardly even seems to suggest there's a competitive edge for those things if you are married. Just look at the Watts' situation. Their marriage was their mutual downfall.

That said, there are some obvious practical benefits to marriage to some people in some situations, and I personally love the idea of having a day to celebrate our love and relationship with the people who care about us, swear public vows to each other, etc. And if other people want to have a wedding, hell yeah and of course I'll be there. But for whatever reason it is just NOT for me.