That's pretty much it. I'm dating someone (for 5 years now) who was married prior and had a terrible experience with said marriage. They dated for 6 years before marriage. They separated after 2 years of marriage. The divorce was final after 3.

At first I thought he wanted another chance at marriage, because he would often hint at it, but as time went on he grew so cold to the idea of it. Him and I have never discussed it directly. But from hearing what he says to other people about it, I just know it's never happening for me. For us. I'm not sure if he is just finally dealing with the trauma from his past relationship or if I have become a doormat that he can get away with "wifing up" without actually putting a ring on it.

We have a house together, and 5 animals together. We live out of state away from most of our friends and family. Our lives are so intertwined it's not even funny. We practically are married without the title/ring/paperwork.

Am I ok with spending my life with someone who doesn't want to fully commit to me? If I stay with him, I'll be able to keep the beautiful life I have built for myself. If I leave him in search of a partner who wants marriage, I will have to say goodbye to EVERYTHING, not just him.

Idk what to do. Just ranting. Productive advice is appreciated but not necessary.

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who provided me with constrictive criticism and real advice I can actually apply to my situation. To those who can relate to my situation, I feel for you. To those who got out of my situation and found what they wanted, I am proud of you.

I'm well aware of the risks of this relationship and I know what comes next is entirely up to me. I'm not ready to make the decision yet but I promise I am actively thinking about it and taking everything into consideration. While I do want marriage, I don't know if I need it. I really don't know how important it is to me right now. I am young and I still have time to figure it out.