Apologies for the long text, but I could really use some insight. Bear with me please!

I (25F) have been friends with Emma (24F) for about a year now. We have a friend group with two others, Justin and Anna, who we work with.

Emma and I have gotten especially close after a weekend trip we all took together. A few weeks later (around March), we all went out to a few queer bars. Note: Justin and I are queer but Emma is NOT openly queer (or queer at all? That’s sort of my problem right now lol!). As soon as we were outside a bar, Emma said “my boyfriend said it’s okay if I kiss a girl!” I did not love that statement (I think it’s unintentionally homophobic but that’s besides the point) but it’s not my life…go for it, girl! Everything was going normally aside from that comment until Emma and I were left alone for a bit while Justin took about 30 minutes to close a bar tab.

Emma and I were talking about how she had gotten a free drink earlier that night from a woman. She mentioned she thought she was cute. I think I made a face conveying some surprise because I was always under the impression that Emma was straight. After a bit of a pause, Emma said “I like mascs.” Note: I am very masc presenting. I felt like the conversation got very flirty from there: whispering to one another, she showed me some photos of her from college that were more “revealing,” playful touches. I then mentioned I felt silly wearing my “work clothes” and she said she felt the same on her sweater. I said she always wears clothes like that even outside of work and she said “no not always…I’ll wear something different next time for you” then gestured to her chest. Immediately after, she asked me about my partner and when I plan on proposing. Nothing too crazy, and I still sort of just wrote it off as silly drunk girl being silly!

When Justin came back, we briefly landed on the topic of if we saw ourselves having kids one day. I said I really wanted to have one. Emma said “you want to have kids?” I said of course! She paused for a moment and said “why not 2?” I said idk I’m just feeling one! She looked at me for a bit then said “…two,” it almost felt like she was insinuating these were OUR kids. My friend Justin’s draw dropped and he said “well you can have two and you can have one…problem solved!” The night sort of ended there, but I have felt so much tension since then.

A few days after, our friend Anna and I got lunch together. She asked a lot about my relationship with my partner: if I was happy, if I still see us getting engaged, a lot of questions! I hadn’t ever given any indication that anything was off, and part of me felt like Emma might have said something to Anna, causing her to probe.

We all went on another day trip together, but my partner joined this time. It was me, Emma, and my partner in the car. The whole day felt very typical until our drive back. My partner fell asleep and Emma and I were talking about a wedding I had been to. I mentioned it was nice but not how I pictured my own and gestured towards my partner. Emma got a bit quiet and asked how I pictured my wedding. I’m not really sure how else to describe it, but she seemed sort of upset when she asked. It wasn’t inquisitive or excitable like how most friends would ask that question.

Everything sort of died down a bit and I thought I was making feelings up in my head and totally making a bigger deal of things. Then about a week ago, I got lunch with Emma and our other friends. We talked about planning a trip to Vegas. When our other friends left, we stayed behind to chat a bit. She asked if my partner would “let” me go to Vegas. I said of course, I’m my own person, why wouldn’t she?! Emma said “well…you know…” I said, “no, what do you mean?” She said “well you’re a little bit scandalous.” I didn’t pry further, I felt like it was very clear that she was referring to whatever weird tension was in the air with us.

A few days later, we all went to a concert together with my partner. I was there with Emma while everyone else was meeting us there. I could feel Emma’s energy change when my partner joined. My partner mentioned the next day that Emma seemed really upset at the concert (I hadn’t noticed).

In general, I’ve noticed some changes that I don’t love. Emma and I seem to be spending less time together 1 on 1 (ex: we usually get lunch together more often or or I asked if she wanted to meet early for drinks before the concert since were both free…I think she said no because she thought my partner was joining, as she was surprised when we met a bit earlier than everyone else and she wasn’t with me then proceeded to say she wished we went out prior as I had suggested).

I’m unsure of where to go from here and, still, if I’m over-analyzing all of this. I care about Emma so much as a friend and I do love my partner. These new feelings have been so confusing for me, and I have no idea what to do or what to think. An outside perspective would be great and so, so appreciated. Thank you.