Hello to all that read this. I'm here again looking to lose my virginity. Looking to experience that which I've missed out on in life. To gain experience. To feel joy. To make both of us happy. To be reminded that a simple 1 on 1 connection can be both a powerful and memorable thing.

I recently turned 39 and made it my major goal this year to lose my virginity before my 40th birthday. I'm 5' 11", 145 lbs, caucasian with brown hair and eyes. Just your average skinny and nerdy introverted white guy. I don't drink or smoke, but I'm totally okay with weed. As much as I try to keep positive, a lifetime of mental health has taken its' toll on me. I wish it were all sunshine and rainbows, but I do what I can to wake up each morning and at least try to make the most out of each day.

As far as my interests go, I'm mostly into video games, generally single player experiences that I can lose hours each day to. Living in the desert I don't see much of a reason to go outside, so I stick to what I can do in front of my computer, be it gaming, watching YouTube or Twitch or Netflix, or other similar things.

In regards to what I said earlier, it's not the most fun story to tell, and every time I do I feel as if I'm doing it to garner some sort of pity from those I talk with, it's complicated. But basically, I grew up being consistently bullied in school which, over the years, has developed into all forms of depression(PTSD, Social Anxiety, etc.). When I said I'm introverted, I mean it. I have no local friends, the only people I talk with are immediate family. I don't leave the house enough to make meaningful connections which probably explains why I'm still a virgin while looking down the barrel of my 40th birthday.

I know I'm supposed to keep these posts positive to try and "sell myself" to anyone that may be interested, but I just wanted to be clear to anyone that takes an interest after reading this. I haven't been in a good place mentally for a long time. I do my best to find a reason to keep going each day, and some days are harder than others, but I keep going. Because I know that one day, someone is going to message me, and it's going to lead to the most wonderful night in my life. I just hope you can help me with that.

As for who I'm looking for, physical appearance doesn't matter much to me. Beggars can't be choosers after all. No, who I'm looking for is someone who understands that on the surface I look fine, but I am broken on the inside and have been for a long time. I'm not asking for anything permanent, or even long term, just someone willing to give me a chance to experience what I've missed out on. A chance to heal. A chance to make new connections. A chance to live life for once in my existence on this planet. Once again, thank you for reading this, and I hope to hear from someone soon.