Hey there!

Like it says on the label, I'm hoping to meet an active, smart, snarky, and submissive-in-the-sheets woman who is considering an AMAB addition (a boner donor) to her bedroom arsenal.

Aside from having a working phallus, why choose me?

1. Wedded & Vetted: Someone put a ring on me for eternity, and not just my package. Thanks to consensual non-monogamy, you too can enjoy the uhh ... package.

2. Really Friggin' Smart: Skipped a grade and won a Britney Spears lip sync competition. Not in that order.

3. Snip, Snip, Hooray!: Vasectomied and ready for our post-Roe America Thunderdome. Remember to vote!

4. Vaxxed & Tested: I'm up to date on my shots and have recent STI tests, all negative.

I am an irreverent, yet mild-mannered, DC professional by day. You’d never guess the kinky side by night. I love reading, drawing, cooking, and tinkering with electronics. I work out to enjoy pizza. For the height supremacists out there, I'm just above 5' 7" (172 cm).

What I'm Looking For:

• Fun & Friendship First: Most of our time will be vertical. Let’s exchange books, memes, news, and more, not just body fluids.
• Kinky Dynamics: I lean into release denial and praise rather than pain. If you identify as a snowbunny, tell me about your favorite authors in the African diaspora.
  
• Consistency over Novelty: Seeking an enduring connection beyond the initial thrill of my, ahem, package.

Non-Negotiables:

• No tobacco users.
• No unicorns. You only get the stallion that is myself.
• Emotional availability required; let's match energies and intentions.
• Physical availability required; be local to the DMV — I’m not into long-distance.
• Progressive vibes only regarding gender roles, sex, and race.
• No deadly cat or dog allergies.
• Daily flossers only.

If this piques your curiosity, tell me about yourself and what caught your interest. Let’s see if our banter sparkles. If it does, let's meet for a beverage. Pics or a virtual vibe check can be arranged beforehand.

Cheers!