Hey there!

Like it says on the tin, I'm hoping to meet an active, smart, snarky, and submissive-in-the-sheets woman who is considering an AMAB addition (a boner donor) to her bedroom arsenal.

Aside from having a phallus, why choose me?

1. I am vetted. Someone of taste and discernment chose this whole package for eternity. Thanks to consensual non-monogamy, you too can enjoy the benefits of my ... uhh ... package.

2. I am clever, witty, and snarky as fuck. I was raised in a fairly repressed biblical literalist/quasi-evangelical environment. I also had access to some of the earliest hominid fossils ever found. This cognitive dissonance made me too smart for my own good. Don't ask me about the Roman Empire unless you want to hear about decolonizing your own mind.

3. I am vasectomied. Should your favored contraceptive method fail, or be unavailable in our post-Roe America Apocalypse, I remain a relatively safer option 😬🫣 which is a terrifying thought but here we are. Remember to vote!

4. I can provide recent clean full-panel STI tests. These include negatives on HSV-2 and HSV-1. This is good news for me, but no judgment on others.

By day I'm a reglar DC professional. No one clocks me as kinky. I love to read, draw, cook, and work with small electronics. I keep in pretty good shape, but I also really enjoy pizza. For any height supremacists out there, I am 5' 7".

What I'm Looking For:

• Humor & Friendship First: Swapping fluids is great and all, but 99 percent of our time will be vertical. Let's swap books, news, recipes, media, memes, classical references, and interests.
• Kinky Stuff: I lean towards release denial more than inflicting pain. I'm a huge fan of praise and cuddles. If you're into exploring the dynamics of race, sex, and power in kink, mention some of your favorite authors in the African diaspora in your introduction. Rappers count, (except Ye obviously).
• Consistency Over Novelty: I’d like our connection to endure beyond the initial thrill of my ... ummm ... package.

The non-negotiables:

• No tobacco users.
• Emotional availability is a must; let's match energies and intentions.
• Physical availability; be local to the DMV — I’m not into long-distance.
• Progressive vibes only regarding gender roles, sex, and race.
• No deadly cat or dog allergies.
• You must floss every day.

If this post resonates with you, and you’re curious about seeing where it could lead, introduce yourself. Tell me what about the post resonated with you. Let’s see if our banter sparkles. If it does, let's meet for a beverage. Pics or a virtual vibe check can be arranged beforehand if needed.

Thanks for your time.