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While women in the rest of the world are standing up for their rights and setting higher standards for themselves and men in their lives, a lot of women in brown community still have this pick me door mat mentality. I thought it was only limited to toxic Desi aunties but a recent event made me realize that even young women have the same mindset. And these women are no different from Desi toxic aunties bec they manipulate, they scheme, use religion, betray their friends, suck up to men in hopes of getting the validation that our culture never gives them.
I've found that these women usually have toxic moms or toxic women in their families who bully the girls from a young age which makes them hateful towards other women. Then they complain of never getting along with other women, never being able to have long lasting friendships.
If their mentality was kept to themselves, it would have been fine. But they tend to attack other women for petty reasons. At work, in class, online, you name it.
Recently, my friend found out that this girl who she thought was her friend almost had her fired bec of her scheming against my friend. I have a pick me at work as well. Even though I try to keep things civil between us by barely interacting with her. She still manages to do something that pisses me off.
My solution to this problem is to completely avoid them and let them rot in their misery. But it doesn't always work especially if they're a coworker or a classmate. How do you ladies deal with such people?
It's not just a brown woman thing. Try being in a white evangelical conservative Christian church. I'm surrounded by idiotic pickmes.
Mine is to set firm boundaries. In my mind and with people. I'm very cliquish meaning that I love to socialize and outgoing but only share personal things with people in my inner circle.
Many young brown women HATE me because I come across as a cold, heartless bitch. But I'm not. I'm just straightforward, no BS. But I also make jokes and sarcastic.
I could care less for my reputation. And fake people and pick mes hate me. But people who know the real me stick by me.
I love large gatherings in the desi community but don't go out with people individually or in smaller groups unless I'm comfortable with them. And I also hang out with non-desis. Why limit yourself?
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This. Some girls don't want to do anything or have a life. I avoid them. I find them boring.
I'm also your age and it doesn't seem anything has changed