I live in a town in new England that is a smaller town and mostly white and I'm an older desi woman with dark skin in her 40s who mostly grew up in the US. It has never been a problem for me. Hell I work part time as a stripper and I am one of the top earners at my club. I have sometimes earned more cash than a young blonde girl. Men love all types and love confidence more than anything. I have a regular professional job but like to make extra cash.

Maybe I just don't give a f anymore.

Stop comparing yourself to other races. It isn't a competition. The thing I find with young Indian women or young women in general is the pick me attitude or "nice girl" mentality, low confidence, and acting like beggars instead of choosers. If a guy is going to pass you for your race, do you really want that shallow guy? Or maybe he isn't the type for you.

You don't need to attract everyone. You just need one guys attention.

Plus, younger men also struggle with confidence and afraid to approach women. And guys in general have issues with immaturity. 90 percent of young men don't approach the girl they like because they're afraid of rejection. So you girls think you're undesirable when it's actually guys afraid to approach. This sucks but guys don't mature as fast. A guy figures himself out and gains that maturity to take initiative minimum when 25 years old. Some reach that later.

The key (regardless of your ethnicity) is to put some effort into your appearance. It's ok to be casual and low makeup or no makeup but looking like you just got out bed just looks sloppy. Find styles that you like and what makes you happy and feel the best.

It's confidence that attracts. Focus in being the woman YOU want to be. And you'll attract the right man regardless of his ethnicity.

Desi girls who complain are probably wanting attention from white shallow frat boy types (not sure what the equivalent is abroad). Do you need validation from white men? Time for this post colonial mindset to end.

There are South Asian guys who'd be interested in a desi but do they not count? Or would you consider yourself attractive based on the number of white men you attract. In that case, aren't you just as shallow as those who judge desirability on race?

Btw the obsession with fair skin is so ridiculous back in India. I get constantly judged. I feel that my dark skin is much more accepted here in the US and most European countries than back home.