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Controversial stuff that I experience and do you guys experience the same?
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So theres no venting on here however I'm a pakistani brown girl in the UK I was born in london and ngl despite what other brown girls say that me being born in the UK is a blessing I feel the opposite? I kinda wanna vent about it and ask a bunch of questions and see
- I feel like for my race I have to work 10 harder on my appearance to be noticed. Meanwhile any other race doesn't.
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- Guys only find brown women attractive if they have Caucasian esque features (nose job noses galore, no hyperpigmentation, no dark circles etc). They essentially like any girl who looks like an Instagram model ngl seriously on desi tiktok it's all of these kinds of girls or they have deep to medium skin tones but are instaglamed up?? That's the only time I see guys thirsting over us otherwise nada.
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- Ngl this may sound pick me ish but my mum was born pale and had light eyes my dad was darker and I'm a mix of the two. I feel like in my family the elder relatives only like me solely because I'm lighter than the rest of my cousins. And I know this because in my dad's family my grandparents all choose light pale desi women for their sons. I feel like when I'm 30 they will try to get me arranged marriage first due to my um lightness?? It genuinely is gross my aunt even admitted that they value woman's paleness in exchange for the guy/potential suiter to be rich and successful (the guy can be fully and dark all he want but as long as he is successful it's OK. The girl has to be pale or kind of pale then that way she gets of these successful men.) I find this mentality gross and I'd rather marry a guy after at least knowing him a full 2 years (idc whatever race he is just as long as he is a good man and is ready to settle with me). Do you guys also have this problem too? It feels like time is ticking for me until they emotionally pressure me to get an arrange marriage and that I will be only valued for my skin colour and looks kind of.
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- This one is the most controversial but I find desi girls irl won't accept you if you are agnostic if you arre not either Hindu, Sikh or Muslim (especially this for pakistani girls). Me being agnostic makes them think that I'm suddenly rejecting being desi altogether?? I get very scared making fried with desi women irl and hide that I'm agnostic because otherwise they bully me saying I'm a typical white girl inside and not a true pakistani girl. The men are even worse when it comes to dating and friendships. I had even tried going on dates with pakistani men only to find they wanted me sexually but also said I was a whore etc for dating them (wtf).
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Brown girl living in northern US east coast. I hear what OP is saying..
The so called natural look in social media still has a full set of makeup and filters. I don't glam up all the time but I have no issues with being thought of as attractive. There's a difference between casual vs sloppy.
I get plenty of compliments on my skin. I have oily skin and starting go wrinkle and I'm in my 40s and I'm dark.
I actually find south Asian men especially fobs who do that more than westerners. They expect us to look like Instagram models 24-7 but will drop those standards when a white girl comes their way. It's frankly embarrassing. I've seen online ads where the guys will even specify their dream girls measurements but they got pot bellies. Dark skin is still equated as ugly. Interestingly American men, white and black guys don't have that same mindset as much as our own desi boys. Racism rears it's ugly head and we can see that in beauty standards in all races.
One of my cousins has very curly hair and she went natural. One aunty told her that she should straighten her hair because her curls make her look black. I'm serious. She literally said that. My jaw dropped. My cousin being so awesome played dumb and said "omg those black girls especially the dark African models with blueish skin and braids are so gorgeous."
I decided to play along "I wanted those braids but hair isn't the right type."
Aunty, "that's not good."
My cousin with a very innocent front, "why what's wrong with being born black?"
Aunty finally shut up.
Honestly the older I get the more I'm realizing that finding confidence and discovering what works for you makes a world of a difference. Confidence is much more attractive than looking perfect.
Being a pickme or low confidence is what makes someone less attractive. Own yourself and attractiveness in your own way.