I start by saying I'm in a calmer mind than I was an hour ago, but I'm still struggling. Yesterday I finally got a job offer after literally 100's of applications, finished all the paper work and excited to hear when they want me to start(after all background checks come back) Today... today just sucks.... get a letter in the mail stating my license is suspended due to lack of payment for child support (I pay what I can but have been living off 90% as best as possible) so now my jobs in jeopardy because that is a requirement. So I do the responsible thing call the child support office and see what can be done, my case manager isn't in office until late next week, and no one else can help. So continue with the responsible thing and call my potential future employer and try to give them a heads up that I'm trying to rectify the issue, no answer.

Today I have done the best I know how to do in this situation but it feels like I'm hitting my head against a wall.

In the bigger picture I've put my best foot forward and tried my hardest but I keep falling short and further behind. I just don't see a light at then end of the tunnel, and its demoralizing.

Just needed to get it out there, all of my friends are busy at work and couldn't answer the phone.

Disclaimer: no im not currently thinking about self harm, I have worked through those emotions. Yes I have a prevention plan that I am keeping close to make sure I don't give into those demons.