For starters, I (20m) have returned home 2 months ago from a combat deployment (I'm Nat. Guard) and at first I thought I was doing well. But I eventually realized that I was subconsciously keeping myself busy with everything I was doing. And I honestly don't recognize anything anymore, I know where I am, but I feel lost. Like the person who I thought I'd return as, is still over the pond. It's just not the home I remember it to be, there is too much, I'd rather be back overseas where it was simpler, and when I feel overwhelmed and just want to scream and cry, i cant, its like my body automatically locks down that emothion and I cant controll it. I honestly don't know anymore everything is a haze, I can't even remember things that I did 5 minutes ago, let alone anything I've been doing. I'm at a loss, and I even thought about ending it.......and I regrettably almost did a couple days ago. But no one close to me knows what I almost did.