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I know people are tired of me complaining about my depression and anxiety but it is taking over my life. I have tried everything. Tonight, I feel hopeless. I’m always tired and have zero motivation. I feel like a failure as a mom, wife and person. I truly have disdain for myself. I have been trying to pray and give my life back to God. I’m not sure why he would have me suffer this way. Sometimes I fake how I feel so people won’t judge me and get tired of me complaining. Days like today, I think, maybe people will take me seriously once I’m not here anymore. I am embarrassed to think about how many times I have contemplated suicide. It’s hard to constantly cry for help and no one hears it. Then one day you are the one that a crowd is standing around discussing that they didn’t know you were hurting that bad. Am I the only that feels this way?
You're not a failure and I feel the exact way you do. I don't know how you feel about groups at the VA but I got a Wednesday one that I vent and have others who went thru similar experiences in there that helps me focus better. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I've had other groups that haven't worked like this one does but maybe it's worth looking into. This one is a zoom group.
Don't ever feel like you have to hold it in. You don't have to suffer alone when there are so many others who get it and might be able to make it better.
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- 9 months ago
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