This one may be related to the subject of romance or love, and I'll explain why.

You see, I've spent years hoping to find someone, in my 21 years of living I hadn't found anyone. And sure many would say that I'm still young and that I got all the time in the world to find someone, I agree actually.

But sometimes, when I watch or see others who are in a relationship, I sometimes envy them. You see, I can share my burden with a friend or family sure, but in a relationship, I feel as if I can show more of my vulnerable side, someone I can maybe cry to or just feel safe, I always felt like having a good significant other is like a bond in a whole different level that can't be emulated by friends or family members.

Also, it's just that, it feels like I have all these excess pent up thoughts that I wish I can just tell a significant other while in their comfort. In a way you could say I sound hopeless romantic, sure, perhaps I might be a little, I find myself as a very sentimental person, a little clingy too, I guess it's from my desire to just wish I can have someone who can for once tell me "hey, don't kick yourself too hard, if no one is there for you, I will be, because I love you", I have low esteem after enduring this lonesome journey for too long.

And no, I don't want someone to be my significant other just so I can make them my personal therapy, I feel like that's just not right. But I suppose I just need someone to be there for me when noone else would be, I want to feel wants it like to be loved, and not just any love like family love, but one that makes you feel complete.

I've lived in different countries, and all I have with me most of the time are my parents, I see them as my role model, they have a happy 20 years marriage, and now that I'm an adult, I want to feel something new, which is love. And yes I've indeed shoot my shot to others, but usually unsuccessful as they're either taken or something. I mean I'd say I'm a decent guy, I workout, I'm friendly and usually modest, have many interest from Science to arts to games and what not.

You know, sometimes I feel like I'm just a joke, my name is Lance, named after Sir Lancelot, ironic that I'm named after by a character generally looked up to with respect, sometimes I feel like I'll be the one to cause my own downfall, and sometimes it feels like it'll end with me alone with no one to at least see me go. I just need someone to be by my side, even if doesn't last very long, I just want to know "what it's like".

I don't want to keep on walking much longer with no one to cry to, a man has to be strong they say, but sometimes I just feel like a boy inside a man.