So many people are mad these days. Myself has fallen into it A bit I won't lie. It's not really a me thing It is cause I have a struggle with my social filter I say it how it is without think of the consequences sometimes. I think it is a side effect from covid. Not talking to people made us all a bit crazy. Since we aren't the same some more than others. And obviously not in the same ways. I will not lie this is a vent more about my personal problems just cause well I can't do it on my own and I just haven't been able to confide in anyone lately and it's just all bundled inside me looking out for me type situation but while I do that I still want to look after and help others even if I don't know them so not exactly easy.

So I will say my biggest issue is financial issue no not the kind I don't have enough money cause no job. Just... I want more not cause greed but to help people and have some gun things for me (and others to enjoy eith me) let me start off with I do have adhd. Adhd people usually have many hobbies. And well... I maybe have a couple of dozen. At least 20 or 30 at the least. Not easy having lots of hobbies that end up expensive. I've been given stuff when I was young and I've been good at so much growing up. Felt there wasn't anything I could do. I can make someone's yard to a mansion fantasy given the time and equipment. I've detailed cars for long time. I can literally make pretty much anything from wood desk, boat, guitar, house deck, exc. I love driving I have most racing games made and I customized every car I've ever owned. I have been doing photography since a young age stopped here and there but people love what I've done most the time.

My biggest dreams are so expensive though. I want to finish my photography set up and well... I wanna sell photos online to people so they can enjoy photos of places they may never get to see or just for people to enjoy in General. I enjoy lifting weights and well. I need a home with a big garage so i can make a personal lift gym of my own. Another dream is we'll finish customizing a 2019 rav4 I have its spendy if I look at the finished product but will be so worth it not only for me but to see people's eyes light up like wow that's cool. Then we'll that's an offroader and I love it and I don't want to ever get rid of it. But to be honest I'm more a car guy lower to ground for hard cornering grumpling purr of the engine and fast take offs. My dream saddened when older cars went way up in price. My car I want went from 6,000 to 30k or 35k there are some for cheaper BUT they are on the complete other side of the USA. And well it's not going away it's strengthening. So many people saying I can't there's no way being little rude making me want to show them ha I did it and well. When I was young I went to lots of car shows free mainly and I LOVED to see them it made a warm place in my heart people were so nice and I saw so many cars that are rare and highly collectable now. A real ac cobra 427 I loved the most tbh. Still do. But that isn't my dream car. My dream car is a subaru. And most you are like what about the muscle and I love so many cars I think we should all be connected through cars. It's not always an easy choice but after years of experience with cars I know I'd love so many other cars I just want to end up with the subaru I want to get. I want to customize it take it to car shows join a small race club connect with other car enthusiasts, take people and kids that deserve it for joy rides, connect with local police (polite ones no racism allowed). And frankly just have a blast with it myself. My girlfriend well... she thinks the only answer to anything is going to school for it oh go to school for that that that. And I'm like no I'd rather make money instead of lose money. So many people think that's the answer. Is it? If you have to spend decades of paying your scholarships back was it worth it when you could ha e just done it in your time? I have been thinking of getting grants for my buisness so it can grow then use some to go to photography classes if possible, I didn't say school is pointless I do want to learn more. There is always more to learn. But being in debt for decades isn't really a good way to do it if you wait and save money that is a smarter plan. Patience isn't commen but it helps many, including yourself. I know not all of you will like that I have so much Grammer errors I just needed to talk and vent and get things off my shoulders.

I never told you guys that i had cheap hobbies XD. I would like to say at the end here, be respectful about what I say, don't just get offended or take it to heart I mean no offense and I am not aiming it towards people that feel a specific way. And if anyone does seek advice on situations or financial help or relationship help, exc my dm is open I may not be a trained psychiatrist, BUT I am free XD. For those that read through this far thank you! It means alot knowing people aren't just posting here and not reading through posts (like me, though I try to) those that comment and share kind words I want to cry cause it's been so long since I've opened up and I'm not a big crier, it's just been so long and I needed to get it out there. We all need eachother not just ourselves.