I'm just so tired of everything. I feel like I have wasted so much of my early life. I have select friends but they don't ever check on me. I go on countless dates and I always get ghosted.. I finally went on a date that felt magical. Like crazy and I have never been crazy for someone. And she was saying the same things. But then turns out she was talking to another guy and it look like he is the freaking winner. Why do I have to finish second everytime. I swear if something has to go wrong in my life it always does. I can't count on anything to actually come through or to care about me. I just wish I knew what's wrong with me. Why I don't attract people. Why people don't want to talk to me. Why they don't take me seriously. Why my words don't matter. My feelings. My dreams. I'm a 22 year old dude. All I ever get is I look young. I've been through so much. I was homeless for awhile, I joined the military part time. I worked in a jail and was attacked 2 months in a row. But not even the people from the jail even cared that much. I had to leave because I dreaded going and nobody from there even talks to me. I worked there 3 years and they would always get together and go out but never invited me one time. They were my friends but I was never theirs and I don't now why. Why do I suck I just wanna know.