I was watching Mare of EastTown, and while it is great so far, I am having trouble watching it. I see teenagers going out at night, partying, coming back at midnight, and their parents are completely fine with it. (Which is how it should be, within reason).

But this is something I have never experienced ever. I was not allowed to do anything. I couldn't go out at night. I couldn't even go out at day time. I could not go to parties. Now, my parents sometimes allow me to leave home during daytime, but I would have to tell them in advance where I was going and who I was going with, and even then they could just refuse.

I watch any american series and I am filled with sadness and regret of having missed out on an essential part of life that I will never get back.

I am in my mid 20s now, and this shit is still going on, as I live with my parents. I am going to the US later this year to pursue a master's degree, where hopefully I will have some degree of independence.

But I keep thinking it is too late now. Everyone my age is far ahead of me in the development curve. Even if I do try to experience things I have never experienced before, I would have no clue where to start. Like how do I go from being someone locked in their room 24x7 to someone socializing in bars. How do I even get invited to a party. And I have not even talked about the fact that I have never been in a relationship ever, or had sex, while my friends are getting married.

Vent end.

If you are thinking, why do I not just disregard my parents and do what I want, now that I am much older, it doesn't work like that. I have something deep rooted in my psyche (probably because of the way I was raised) that doesn't allow me to disobey them.