To start this off I'm a 22 year old guy with a college degree. But thanks to the pandemic job hunting has been fruitless. But today my mom just randomly decided to put my clothes she decided to wash in my room while I was at work. And not only did she have to do so by being invasive to my space but also found something and took it to be washed that is rather embarrassing for me and I just feel violated of my privacy right now. She refuses to truly acknowledge that I'm an adult. She doesnt want to get a life and doesnt have one so she gets involved in mine. I recently was going to go on my first date and I felt I would tell my parents, (its complicated but they are controlling basically) and she instantly wanted to know everything about the person. She does what I believe I've heard is called emotional cheating. She refuses to talk about stuff with my dad who is her husband of 26 years instead she tells me about her work and this and that, that happened 30 years ago and I honestly dont care. I know that sounds awful but she is my mother not my wife. I dont know how to get her to understand. It makes me not wanna have a child-parent relationship with her and we have a very interesting one to say the least. I recently had to be stern and nearly yell at her to get her to stop spanking my butt like you would a three year old, because " I didnt listen to her" and it makes me super uncomfortable because yeah I'm 22 only my future SO should be touching my butt.