This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
I am an exchange student in the US, the time difference between the country I came from, Thailand is 13 hours. Last night on New Years Day, around 1 am a friend I have know for quite a long time messaged me to talk about her relationship problems. (It was around 2pm there) It really killed my mood. I was so happy about everything until I started talking to her. It gave me a really bad headache, what she said reminded me of the awful things I don't like about myself and etc. I hated that I have to start off my 2020 with awful feelings.
I feel selfish for feeling like that, I've always vented to another friend who was always there for me (I always ask him if he's ok with me venting) and yet I can't even listen to her. But then again, I've never vent to her, we used to be really close but I feel like after all these years I was the only one who grew up and learn and she was stuck with her old attitude.
I understand about her problems, I understand why she feels that way, but the fact that these problems can be solved, it's not about action others, it all depends on her actions and decisions, yet she wouldn't do what I suggested then complains about the problem constantly is really draining me.
We both have depression but we deal with it differently, I'm trying my best to recover but I feel like every time I talk to her, I get dragged down. I hate to say this but she feels...toxic. I love our friendship years ago...but now...I don't know...I feel like I need to cut you her of my life.
I was doing good until last night where I had to take some stress relieving pills and barbiturates because of her. I couldn't stop thinking. I wanted to cry. I would vent to my friend but I felt like I should let him have fun while he's at his friend's. (He said it was ok but I still didn't want to bother)
I kinda feel like I'm not wrong to not feel good about her since I should also care about my mental health but at the same time I just feel guilty... It's not like I don't have problems where it all depends on myself to solve but they're not the same kind of problems as her. Idk how to explain.
I don't know...I'm just tired. I'd get into details about her problem but that'd be another big fucked up post that would probably take me hours to type.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 5 years ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/Vent/commen...