I’m 30F, have disabilities, 4x college dropout (thankfully I owe nothing due to grants) and I just feel like every relationship I’ve been in just ends in disaster. They replace me or abandon me, because they find someone that can function as a normal human being. Reason I say this is because I have ARFID and I can’t eat solid foods and it’s been 3 years. I also am not pretty like the girls in adult films or on tv. I just want to be a normal functioning human being and I can’t even do that.

I have been living house to house and it’s been unreal. Never once have I EVER owned anything of my own. Please don’t give me a lecture either. I wasted away most of my life doing stupid shit.

I live off of liquids(nutritional shakes, alfredo sauce, and pretty much any drink that doesn’t have particles in it). I can’t afford another procedure and I don’t have health insurance either. Apparently I have a job pending, but everything is taking so long. I’m such a failure to myself and the world around me.

All I ever want to do is help people. I had the chance to in life by feeding the homeless and helping out people who needed a warm place to live or food to eat. Why can’t people do the same for me? I’m not ungrateful or expect anything from anyone, but whatever happened to human decency? It’s a dog eat dog world and honestly why does the world need me anyways if I can’t properly contribute to it in the way that I want to. 😔💔