I don't know where to start. It been a year now but I keep missing a guy who doesn't feel the same way. I tried to move on since he blocks me, I would be okay after some time but then I would suddenly miss him again very bad that it hurts since he blocks me.

Met him on Discord through a server. We chatted and had talk on a voice call for a few times. One time when I was going through something, he was there and his words comforted me. He was the first to approach me and I love how his first text sounding so genuine (Like, he directly said he's looking for friends and loving cat).

And just to let know, I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I have problems with unstable emotions. But I didn't let him know that due to fear of being judged.

So whenever I was feeling unstable, I would do stupid/cringe things like unfriending people on social media. That includes him. At first, he forgave me for doing that as we would be friends again on Discord.

But I did it for a few times when I didn't feel like talking to anyone as I was feeling unstable. In return, he blocks me until now. This probably sounds cringe but yeah. He couldn't deal with my cringe doing so.

At first I didn't feel anything for many months, but at one point I start missing him real bad, to hear his voice again and I tried reaching out only to find out I was blocked. I know it's my fault but I still can't stop feeling sad remembering how he had lift my mood when I was going through something. Also, I tried reaching out to him using another account but with the same username so he knows it me but he blocks me again. It's no use.

I miss him so much till to this day. And how I wished I had control my emotions much well.

I know I should move on, really. And I try my best, but when I start missing him so bad I just don't know what to do. I just know that to hope he would reach out again is hopeless as it's been a year, and how I wish I can just erase the feeling of missing him just like that. But it's hard. Probably because I'm lonely.

And just in case you're seeing this, Sky. I just want to say that I'm sorry for unable to control my action whenever I was feeling unstable. -Delima