I’m not sure what made the spark click but it didn’t happen until very recently. I’ve gone through life pretty much solo for a large portion of it. Very few to at times zero in person friends and a single relationship in my entire life. Throughout those days I did a lot myself; I’ve gone to films, concerts, and even done multiple road trips solo and for the longest time I always told myself “I had fun, but I wish I had someone to share it with” and while the sentiment is still there to some degree those times, especially my driving trips, gave me a lot of time to spend and focus on me. While a lot of things can contribute to it (primarily my brain chemistry maintain a more positive state of mind with meds) it’s been nice to feel more comfortable in my own skin.