I feel worthless. I don't have a job, my only income is drawing furry porn commissions and doing metal music, and it's barely enough to sustain me. I've tried finding a job for 6 years and at this point job providers just ignore me. I feel like my own family abandons me, and never appreciates what I do. I want to travel, but my own country is holding me there with bullshit laws. I want to live a quiet life with my boyfriend overseas... But I feel like anything I try to work towards just slips through my hands... I am currently taking medication - antidepressants and anxiety medication... But that feels shitty - will I have to be a junkie, on pills for the rest of my life? Because everyone says "what you have can't be cured, only suppressed" - it's organic, something I'm born with, and something that will persist - and that makes me feel like I just don't deserve to live. What's the point, if all my existence is just some guy who won't even be remembered because he hasn't done anything significant?