Not sure if this counts are depressing or something I’m not really sure what this would even be considered as so that was my best guess

I’ve vented about this many times since it’s such a prominent thing with me but I wish it wasn’t at all

Wish I could handle whatever life throws at me and go “cool okay then” and move on but atlas that’s sadly not my personality

I feel things too deeply

I’m constantly crying or having some sort of issue

I ask why I can’t just be some days

This rant/ vent I have said many times in many different places to many different people

It’s as if I’m repeating myself but I don’t know how to handle this issue

Distractions are only temporary and having constant reminders aren’t helpful

I struggle with being alone.

A lot.

Not that it’s bad I guess but I’m so lonely

But it’s not a normal loneliness or well I’m sure it is it just doesn’t feel like it to me

I mean everyone has what I seek so it feels abnormal I’m the only without it

Things take time I’m aware I’m just…tired of having to wait…

I struggle with being alone romantically or intimately

Like kisses or cuddling or such sweet words that are whispered between the lips of a lover

Maybe someone to just take away my woes of a night and let me be myself

Not having to be scared about being unlovable when they’re there

I’m a person with lots of love yet none to give and it eats at me some days

It feels as if there’s always a air of “you don’t have your person” but in the end it’s true

I have no lover or a caregiver or someone to love me

I don’t trust my friends to hold me some vulnerable nor do I think they would do very well

I like my friends they are my friends obviously but I’m so used to everyone leaving I don’t allow such closeness to them

I seek something like a caregiver not even a lover which I think is depressing

I’ve always been the type of a hopeless romantic

Always believed everyone had someone

My faith in that belief is dwindling I believe

I just feel so unlovable that I may even seem desperate

And apologies if I do I’m just tired of feeling like I have to beg

I want a caregiver or a lover or someone that I can trust with my vulnerability

To at least comfort and love me

Maybe even kiss me if they enjoy me that much

I just want someone here with me to comfort me on my bad days

Maybe offer me snuggles or words of reassurance

Someone that I can feel safety in

Someone that can understand me

Treat me how I know I should be treated but can never get for some reason

Return my love that I gift instead of holding a semi fit in my hands and accepting

Just ya know…stuff I shouldn’t have to ask for or even request just stuff that happens because it feels right

There’s so many things but I feel like I can’t explain them enough

I’m a misfit to everyone in some way

There’s always a mismatch and I don’t understand it

Even with my issues that I can work on it can’t just be because of that can it? I would certainly hope not…

Sorry if this made no sense I just want someone to love me…care for me….treat me as if I’m special and worthy of love and romance

I suppose you can also shoot me a DM and get to know me or whatever…I’m just tired everyone has their person yet I can’t even get a scrap of what I want…

It’s just draining is all

I hope y’all sleep well or have a good day

• signed Drazik at 6:07am