Just like the title says. Lately I've been feeling really really low to the point I hate myself. I'm married and have a 2 yr old. My wife and I rent. I've been in middle management for like 9 ish years. I'm 28. I didn't go to college after highschool. Didn't get my license until I was 23 yrs old just before I met my wife, then GF. I have no skills I can market. I can barely focus on getting ADHD medication, I wanted to be an artist when I was younger but I don't know if I can handle the stress of going back to school while working part time and being a dad. I use to play video games as a hobby but pretty much stopped after my wife got pregnant. Don't really have the same energy as I did then.

I'm not unhappy I just hate myself for not able to be like my wife and do what I'm passionate about, which isn't really anything.

I tried doing things like stocks, YouTube, and 1099 jobs but nothing ever sticks or works out for me. Maybe I'm afraid to fail so I don't give 110%. I don't know. I'm just feeling numb and tired most of the time. Today I was wishing I could win the lottery, (not really a gambler) just so I can have the money to travel with wife. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough for her because I have a very poor attention span, hearing, and memory and I've tried working on it but I just make things worse.

I hate that I'm basically a backgrouns character to world and never feel like I'm making a difference. I have friends and we talk and sometimes hang out but like idk I e never done anything profound. I've never found something in uniquely good at. Nothing really has ever motivated me to try more and it worries me because I want to be not like my dad and be better for my kid. I want to matter to her and to my wife but I rarely have any original ideas in my head. I just want to know what I'm doing wrong.

I'm not in mountains of debt. I don't have any entitled people in my life, no rare diseases, or tragedy survivor story, just a boring plain rock.

Yeah that's how I've come to to just hate how unoriginal and NPC like I am. I'm not unique or smart or savant at anything. I'm not well endowed, I'm not wise, I'm not knowledge in anything I can use to make money. I'm just someone in a GTA game that the player hits or is mugged.

Anyway hope the rest of y'all are doing better.