I want to find a cave and burry myself in it. I feel like a sad song that keeps replaying, i distract myself from this feeling but then i get triggered so easily. I hate being over-sexualized it’s triggering. I want to tear my skin off. Why is it so hard to meet genuine caring people that respect boundaries or understand that certain things might make you feel a certain way? even when you give chances and explain yourself politely they don’t understand. At this point i’m going to be alone because i feel as though the bare minimum is what i expect and i know i give more than that. I sit and let people feed soft spots of my heart with bullshit even though i know they’re not genuine, they treat you like a fish and bait you then once they feel as though they’ve caught you, you see their true intentions.. it’s sickening and i’ve had enough. I don’t know why i can’t just shut myself down, i’ll never change, i’ll never not care, i’ll never not be kind, no matter what happens. i just want to be like the people that have changed because of experiences but i can’t.

i don’t want to mark or scar myself anymore.