I feel stupid, ugly and disgusting. I can't feel good about myself, I'm always full of negative thoughts and I've been thinking about killing myself.

I feel like I need attention and I can't get it anywhere. I don't have many friends, only two, but they seem to be best friends with each other and when I'm around them they ignore me. I have never been in a romantic relationship, nor a confession or someone who is in love with me, am I that ugly and uninteresting?

My family doesn't pay attention to me, I only have my mother because my father is a drunk who is never conscious, but she has told me several times that it tires her to always listen to me and that I should please leave her alone sometime.

I don't know what to do, I feel abandoned in every aspect.