I've had a rough couple of years.

Started with a bad breakup with an emotionally abusive partner. We had just re-signed our lease, so we still had to live together. During that time, I ended up starting a long distance FWB arrangement with someone I'd been friends with since I started college and her and I ended up falling for each other.

The problem was that, since we were long distance at the time and hadn't formally defined what we were, I thought it would've been okay to get drunk one night and sleep with a coworker. I was painfully mistake when I told her. She hates me now, I'm still not over her, and it's been 2 1/2 years.

I actually ended up moving to the same city as her because it was already the plan and it was closer to my family who I had drifted apart from during college. The day I move, once I've everything settled in my new place (which I'm sharing with, among other people, my abusive ex's ex), my sister calls to tell me our oldest brother, who had spent the entirety of his adult life battling drug and alcohol addiction, was found dead.

It's been two years since all that happened. Since then, I threw myself into my new job opening this big fancy hotel, got severely burnt out because at times it felt I was the only one who actually cared about doing a good job and not just making money that was essentially guaranteed because we were the hot new spot in town for the first year.

After quitting that job, I took all of last summer off, with the focus on actually finding peace for myself and also finding a new living situation with the end of my lease coming up. I ended up having to move back in with my parents after no less than 4 separate living arrangements fell through, the last of those falling through the day I was moving out of my house.

Spent 9 months at my parents'. Found a new spot to work in the city, despite my parents living an hour away and at times making next to no money given the new spot's growing pains. But I eventually found a new apartment that's a 10 minute walk from work. This move couldn't have come at a better time, as it was starting to get frustrating at my parents considering we don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things and, since living situations continued to fall through, I decided to go it alone.

The last three months in this apartment have been alright. I was nervous about living alone, but I very much do enjoy having my own space now, the neighborhood is actually pretty nice, everything I need is within a 30 minute walk. I brought my bike that I hadn't used in years because I wanted to ride my bike again.

So you can imagine how frustrating it was for me to walk out of my apartment today, only to see my bike no longer locked on the bike rack. I hadn't been having the best week, mostly just because I've been tired from work and a general lack of drive that I'm trying to work on. But not seeing my bike today was like a kick in the gut I didn't ask for.

It's shit like this, or a living situation falling through day-of, or my brother dying, that just makes me feel like the universe still thinks I haven't learned enough lessons from breaking my best friend's heart. I just wish one of these breaks would go my way for once, because I really am too tired to do anything about these negative occurrences other than bitch about it now.