This isn't just about being hard to love.. it's also about being unable to find interest in stuff anymore. I used to love music, like LOVE, I'd write my own, dance in my room at midnight to my favorite musicians, play instruments, and even vent through music. I also loved playing stuff like CoD, minecraft and any racing games or indie horror games, now I have zero motivation to do anything anymore. I can barely get out of bed anymore, i don't eat properly and can barely take care if myself, I'm sick of being told it starts with self love, I've tried to focus on myself and love myself but it only makes the flaws more visible and my ego lower into the depths of hell. I can say some things wrong with me right now: I'm fat, too quiet at times but loud at others, unorganized, ect. I used to love calling my friends, now i leave them on read.. I've lost all interest in the world around me and constantly avoid everything. I just want to go back to being a little girl, i know... I'm still young, but not mentally as i was pure and kind. I used to be considered ugly and annoying, now I'm fat and annoying, my family never liked me, my mom disowned me and my dad was never around I'm just sick of it all. I'll never find love either