Just when I was going to share another video, and to my surprise. I got blocked 🥹 and I don't understand why I'm so upset over this..I only met this person online. She made me feel better last week about going out and exploring. Maybe that's why or more so the fact that other people I personally know that I've been talking to also just stopped literally within the same time. Am I just annoying? Am I too much? Do I just disappoint in every conversation I have? I'm not sure and it bugs me because I feel so lonely. The only reason why I even stayed in WA state was because I was married. I lost all my friends because they moved, I lost my friends when I got out of active duty, I lost touch of my old friends from back home from, I barely have any motivation to rekindle my old friendships seeing as how some just seem to easily ignore me when I attempt to. Why do I always make efforts in these people only to be put aside? And the sad truth is that I will easily forgive them the moment they give me the attention I want which just makes me feel pathetic and childish, I'm 26... I'm tired of always changing the way I am, I wish I changed the way my ex wanted me to so that we could still be together. Maybe then I wouldn't be so lonely, I just feel so lost and scared about all this. I even expressed this towards my ex and she basically said that's not true because her friends are my friends. Then where are the invites, the reach outs.. she's out there enjoying her time with them when I recently attempted to help out her friends so that they can enjoy time. All because I'd hope I at least can build that friendship with them. She doesn't understand because all her friends stayed, mine are gone.. Idk what to do anymore, I hate feeling so disappointed in myself. I'm going to therapy soon because I have this huge conflict within myself. I just feel like I ruin any connection I attempt to make and I'm not sure why.