I am so angry at all of the shit that has been brought into my life. I've had such horrible luck and have had such terrible things happen to me all my life. I've met evil people who did the worst things imaginable to me. I was born to mentally ill parents. And then my father killed himself.. I live with regrets and an internalized grief that never goes away since then. I can't help but wonder if I just texted him sooner if he'd still be alive. I lost everything. I literally lost ALL my stuff. I've been hurt and betrayed over and over again. I want so badly for things to get better and I'm fucking sick of being told "stay positive!" FUCK positivity. Life is a fucking coldhearted bitch and people will shove you to the ground when you're down and not give af. You may work your ass off and get nothing in return but pain and heartbreak. I am so so so sick of everything. Nothing good just comes to me-- it all has to be worked for. And every step of the way I have to deal with something new that's horrible. I don't even want to bother looking forward to anything anymore bc whenever I do, I end up hurt and disappointed.