I don’t even know what it is that happened, or why. A month ago I was working out regularly, eating right, I was doing really well. Now, I can’t sleep, and when I do sleep, I don’t want to get up. I can’t brung myself to go back to the gym and I hate myself for it. Two weeks ago a childhood friend of mine died tragically in a car accident, and it’s just made me do nothing but sit and think of my life, and how just badly I’m living it. I see all my old classmates and they’re all happy with husbands & wives, families of their own. I can’t help but feel worthless being a gay individual where I live where it’s super hard for me to find someone. I dread having to go to work each day and socialize with people. And the part that really gets me is that I’m incredibly self aware, but there’s something in me where I just want to give up. I dont really have many friends or people to talk to and it’s all just getting to me..I can’t remember a time where I’ve felt this bad. Thank you for reading, I just needed to get this out..