I’m tired of telling people how lonely I am and instead of just talking to me, checking up on me, hanging out with me, etc. they just give me tips on how to not be lonely anymore. It’s frustrating. They tell me to reach out to people even tho that’s exactly what I’m doing. I feel invisible, like another background character in other peoples lives. I don’t know how to become more important to people.

Even when I try to be there for them—to be helpful and listen—and they tell me I’m such a kind and caring person, they still make me feel like I’m not important to them. Like my only purpose is to be the kind, caring, helpful person in their life instead of someone they just want to hang around because they genuinely enjoy my company. Not because I can do something for them.

No one ever does anything for me. It’s always me giving something, even if I tell people what I want from them. Even if what I want isn’t something unreasonable, even if it’s the bare minimum. I just want to be seen as a person. I just want to be loved. I want someone that’ll check up on me and listen to me and enjoy my company. I want someone that will continue talking to me just because they genuinely want to hear more about what I have to say, because they love the person I am.

Honestly, we don’t even have to talk. We can just hang around each other in silence, doing whatever. I just want someone that cares about me. I don’t understand why every time I try to talk to someone, to get close to someone, to hang out with someone, it doesn’t works out.

I’m tired of wallowing in my misery, and I try to do something about it. But I can’t anymore. Maybe I’m just better off alone.