Last year I got involved with a man who turned out to be a complete narcissist, pathological liar, psycho, asshole, demon. I thought I was in love for the first time in my life. I was finally opening up to someone after hiding myself away for five years after a SA. He knew this, and lied, cheated, and used me anyway, without remorse. I’ve been no contact with him for two months and he lives in another continent now so no chance of running into him. I was already struggling with some health issues before I met him, but after the heartbreak, everything just got so much worse for me. My healing was set soooooo far back. Every single day I feel sick, exhausted, depressed, and stressed out. Every single day, just doing life is a struggle. Some days I actually feel jealous of people who are dead, because at least they’re not in pain like I am. I’ve tried and tried and tried to make my life better. But I continue to suffer. Meanwhile he lives his carefree life and if anything, is now better off after having known me. If I’d never met him, I know my life would be so much better right now. I want him to suffer as much as he has made me suffer. I can barely see my phone screen through the tears.