Have you ever had a thing where someone makes a disrespectful or condescending or inappropriate remark, but it's delivered in a casual or flippant enough way that gives the person plausible deniability?

Then they get offended and touchy about it if you call it out, and call you "intense" or "too much" or "resentful", because it was a casual remark, right? Who thinks about these things in a negative way, right? There must be something wrong with YOU for complaining to me about this, not me who made a weird, disrespectful, completely tone-deaf, hurtful, out of left field completely inappropriate remark.

They basically fuck with you and then set it up so that you can't defend yourself and you have to just take it, because if you try to protest then you're the negative one, the conflictive one, the unfriendly one.

They might not have even meant to attack you with the original inappropriate remark, which is even worse, because it solidifies the gaslighting defense stage where you're the one with the negative thoughts, not them.

It's the most cowardly ass-backwards little shit behavior, and it pisses me off to no end. Fucking up and then dumping the blame on you, gaslighting you... that's some of the lowest shit anyone can do.

I've experienced this with workplace acquaintances, some friendly and some not, and it's bad, but it's way worse with family, because they are so obviously fucked up with emotionally fragile and violent issues and then they gotta tell you YOU'RE the one with the problems... you can barely get up in the morning put your underwear on without having a mental breakdown, and I'm the one who has to go to therapy, of course.

The funniest thing is that, reading that last paragraph, maybe even I sound unstable or overly-angry or something, proving their point, right? That's how deep the gaslighting goes, making someone doubt themselves. No good. No good at all.