My ex moved to my school and now I have to see her everyday in the halls or in the one class we share. I hate having to hear her voice, or her laugh, or how she clears her throat every couple of minutes.

At first it was fine, I didn’t have much to think of it and I was glad that she wasn’t trying to talk to me or anything. But now that I see her everyday memories of us together keep being brought up. I thought I moved on from her. But maybe I did tho because I don’t exactly miss her or miss being with her or anything, nor do I want to go back to her. I just miss how she made me feel I guess and also how open I could be in our friendship. Im also kind of jealous of her, she has so many friends and seems to be having fun while I’m just alone. I see her and it hurts knowing I don’t have anyone to make me feel loved and accepted anymore.

It really doesn’t help that to everyone else around me I’m invisible. But then again, I was always kind of invisible. Even with her, I was still just a wall for people to talk at. I don’t even know where to begin to find people that genuinely value me as a person and don’t see me as their own personal therapist or someone to ignore. Unfortunately, the only people that see my value tho I can’t be friends with due to it being unprofessional or unethical.

It’s also not just finding people that value me too. There’s been some people that have valued me but we just didn’t click that much. I’m into a lot of niche, “boring” or controversial things and no one wants to talk about that with me. My therapist keeps saying it’s nothing to do with me but it’s getting to the point where I feel like there’s something wrong with me.