I’ve (33m) lost both my parents, my mother passed away when I was 9 years old due to à misdiagnosis at the hospital. What’s more disappointing about that is at 9 years old I was a pretty shit kid as well, I had an atitude problem I wasn’t very well behaved, i didn’t treat my mother as I wish I could’ve or should’ve. My father was a dam drug addict my whole life up until my mother passed away. He promptly entered rehab and spent the next 6 months there where he successfully stayed clean and off drugs for the rest of his life. I’m so proud of him for that because he stepped up to the plate when it would’ve been really easy for him to fuck off his responsibilities. When my father got out of rehab he sat my siblings (12m), (8f) and myself (9m) down to talk and basically his words were this… “Theres 3 of you, there’s only 1 of me I’m going to need you guys to grow up really fast and realize the worlds not going to be fair to you guys. We are poor, I don’t have much and I’m just coming off drugs so I need all of you to step up to the plate.” I grew up in a trailer that in 2000 was worth about $9,000 so in 2008 when I was 18 it wasn’t the coolest thing to live in but it taught me lessons I carry with me today. My father passed away from cancer which threw my life through the worst depression I’ve ever experienced because when he first was diagnosed with cancer I remember him talking on the phone and I overheard him say “I just want to see one of my kids do something with their lives before I die, I want to see them open up a business or something that establishes the family name.” So my next 4 years I spent every ounce I had to open up my first business venture. I opened up a barbershop from scratch, literally from every inch and thought of that business from dream into reality. Not only did I make it come true but my business plan was so solid the business flourished and was becoming really successful. A couple months into it being opened my father passed away. I spent the last 4 years building something for him to see his hope come true. The business was in its infancy which needed me to baby it and make sure that it was running smooth. Having 5 other employees meant that 5 other family’s depended on me as the owner to make sure the business had every opportunity to succeed so their families were taken care of. In the haste of building this business and getting it off the ground I totally missed the opportunity to spend with my father in his last months (realistically his last year) on this earth. The sad part about that is I didn’t realize it till it was too late and he was passed on already. I wouldn’t get that chance anymore, I couldn’t and as much as I loved him the opportunity to show him and tell him how much I appreciated him for stepping up to the plate when we were kids and putting me in sports and being there as my best friend through it all made me the person I am today. I missed that opportunity and it put me through one of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced, depression. It ended up becoming so bad that my marriage ended due to me getting on drugs because I needed to cope with my fathers passing, my business venture being in its infancy as well as juggling my relationship at home which is another story altogether. My ex wife left me, the business was so successful though that it was the shinning spot of it all. As the years went on the business reminded me of my marriage, I built it with them by my side so now that I was single it hurt to work/walk through that building. I left it to my brother to run and I quit and have never looked back…

Point of this rant, so now I’ve been in a couple relationships. The same thing keeps getting brought up, “I don’t care about anything” is the theme that seems to be a problem in these relationships. I don’t ever really give a shit or I don’t care for my girlfriend gets repeated. My only reasoning for this which is just my opinion is. •I grew up without a mother and my father was so real with us growing up that I’m “straight to the point” no bullshit or compassion when it comes to things that are not important having to do with living or paying bills. I don’t have the nurturing caring compassion I would’ve had or received from my mother. I grew up quick and I grew up real with expectations placed on me so I didn’t have time to play around. •I grew up poor, that thought me not only what but also how much it takes to really survive. How much and how little a family really needs to live and survive with. Now that I have money I’m not one who spends my money on bullshit. I also don’t get mad or worry over things that are not important to my overall stresses of making sure the bills are paid and financially we will not starve because of the way I was raised. I don’t worry over splurging or spending or doing things I know that are not going to financially Benefit my situation. So I’m cold hearted, I don’t show any compassion and I’ve been told that I don’t care. I do care though, I love and care for my girl more than anything on this earth. I care for what I’ve been brought up to think is important though Roof over our heads Dinner on the table Protection as well a safe environment for her to lay her head.

But yes, worrying about what he said she said or what others are saying about us or our image on how we are perceived to others I could give a shit about… Which leads to my main complaint I just would like some feedback Thank you