That flash of absolute anger, pain and shattering of the little recovery I've had after your ex's new partner points you out of a crowd despite never having actually met him in person before.. to myself and ex locking eyes and then them hurry away, but then watch you for a few moments and continue to glance in your direction trying and failing to be discreet.....I stood their fighting every single atom in my body to not jump into traffic and force myself to stand there talking to a street artist, quickly asking for them to help make it seem like I was ok.

They were the person I had dreamed of, the person I had hoped and thanked every possible divine being (and I'm a non believer) for sending them into my life. I told them constantly, daily, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them, and they replied in kind....

Why after 5 years with someone did they move on so quickly, and why am I still grieving their loss a year later, why did seeing her today break my heart all over again.

I am broken, empty and nothing but a shell of a being unwillingly forced by biology to take that next breath and beat that next heart beat, when all I feel I deserve is to be turned off and to no longer exist