yeah so im pretty much a failure in almost everything i do unless i spend 90 percent of my time on that specific thing. i actually got my first girlfriend like a month ago and she broke up with me n shit. i mean i had her as a friend for like good 3 months so shouldnt i feel sad? i feel nothing but disappointment in myself (always felt that so not really counting it). also a lot of "depressed" or sad people cope with music, for some reason im not into that and im just forcing myself tbh. got some EXTREMELY important exams coming up and i know like 10% of the material rn yet i feel no responsibility to study or even try focusing in class. cant forget to mention that i lie to my dad about my grades since im too much of a pussy to face him since i barely even know the guy yet despite all this i still try to make people laugh? i think its because of the lack of attention i had growing up. IDK i have a bunch of shit on my mind that im too lazy to type about but im just wondering what am i feeling? is it depression?