Sorry if this doesn't fit in this subreddit.. but I don't know where else to post how I feel.

Basically, I've been single for years and I've been searching and at points I stop searching, hoping someone will find me instead, but no. I guess it doesn't always work like that either.
I wish I was lucky to find love. Something I always wanted. To get married to someone that will love and cherish me, just like I will love and cherish them.
Maybe it's me that is causing the issue. Maybe me having abandonment issues and wanting someone to show that they want me in their life is the problem. But I'm tired of fighting for someone's attention. I want to feel wanted in someone's life. I want to feel special to someone.
I never hugged, kissed, cuddled with a guy before. A part of me is scared that it may never happen... and a part of me wish it could happen. But I'm also scared that if that does happen, I may mess it up.
When I see happy couples, sometimes I feel depressed, because I wonder why I can't find love like that. Giving gifts, showing appreciation, spending time together. I guess I just want to feel wanted/needed.
Maybe I shouldn't feel this way, but I sometimes just cry because I think I may never find true love. And maybe I'm being selfish for wanting to feel wanted.
I guess it's something I need to figure out, cause I'm starting to think that wanting to feel wanted, to feel like someone cares about me, is something I keep looking for and I feel disappointed when I don't feel that at all.